Love Is In The House

A Journey of family and adoption!

Mississippi Steak April 20, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — queenjanetw @ 4:02 am

I know, I know – I have been a very bad blogger.  So many of you have been checking the site and I haven’t posted in a while.  I have been so busy and so much going on and it has just been an absolute whirlwind.  I will try to update you on as much as possible so read fast!  Here goes…

1.  Jake can now speak in complete sentences.  Just last night at Olive Garden he took a bite of Jon’s Seafood Alfredo Pasta bowl and very loudly asked, “Mom, is this CRAP?”  He meant CRAB!  At least the sentence was complete.

2.  Jake is no longer referring to himself as Petro.  When he talks about himself he calls himself Jake.  Imagine going from the name you have used all of your life to a new name in a different language.  I still sometimes sign my maiden name to things! 

3.  Jake has begun to call Jerry Daddy rather than Papa.  Although the term Papa fits his age better.  Along with this new title, there has been a huge jump in love and companionship.  Jake is trusting Jerry so much more.  It just takes time to really see and make sure that Daddy is who he says he is. 

4.  Jake has learned to get my attention by calling “Mudder”  very loudly.  He will say “Mom.”  then  “MOM.”  then “MOM!” then “MUDDER!!”  I just ignore him until he gets to the “Mudder” part cause I love it! 

5.  Jon and Jake are amazing together.  They have finally figured out all the things that annoy each other and are using them against each other with such skill.  How can just touching someone cause them to go into orbit?   I just don’t understand it.  Jake cannot stand it when “Jon-a mook me!”  Translation – Mom please tell Jon to stop mocking my accent.  Jon on the other hand cannot stand it when Jake calls him the “baby”.  You would think that correcting them would have some kind of effect – well it did, they began to annoy each other by mouthing the words, not actually saying the words.  We have identified at least 30 different ways that children can maneuver around direct obedience.  There are moments of complete sacrifice and brotherly love.  Just the other day Jon wanted to buy something and when he didn’t have enough Jake was there with his money in hand, and when Jake came home to yet another mess by Pogo Jon was the first to help him.  You know you are brothers when money and poop don’t matter.

6.  Pogo, well, Pogo (Jake’s boxer puppy or should I say poopy) is mentally challenged. He can’t seem to learn how to be potty trained.  He can sit, shake, lay down and stay, but go outside and pee and poop – NOT HAPPENING.  Jerry has abused him, I mean really whooped him good and NOTHING!  If it is raining outside he will do his business INSIDE every time and KNOW he is going to get a beating.  Then he will jump right in your lap and love you and just want to be petted.   Jake has done a wonderful job of caring for him and truthfully if Pogo could be catheterized or wear diapers he would be perfect.  We tried the diapers and had to pick up poop with bits of diaper in it (he ate the diaper).  I REFUSE to give him a catheter!  As long as Chlorox makes wipes and Swiffer makes mops this girl is NOT going there.

7.  Jerry is doing fantastic.  He is really such a great daddy.  He is perfect in almost every way.  If he could get the habit of putting his dirty clothes actually IN the hamper rather than BESIDE it I would be he would be carried on to glory because that is all he lacks toward totally perfection.  Football and weight lifting have been something that really are helping to build a relationship with Jerry and Jake.  Jerry is teaching Jake to kick the football and Jake really is very good.  And no, its not just my opinion.  We have had a coach look at him to make sure that he has the talent so as not to set him up for disaster.  Turns out that soccer players have a talent for accuracy and distance.  Jake can kick an average distance of 32 yards and be so accurate that he can hit a target of only a few feet in width.  He is really excited that he may get to play at Alcorn Central.  Turns out they don’t really have a kicker.  One of their linemen has been trying, but doesn’t really want the job.  Can we say “God planned!”. 

8.  Jake has been going to school at ACHS for several weeks now, but only for a few hours a few days a week.  To help ease him into public school, they have allowed him to receive services from the ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher.  He is learning so very much and everyone at the school just treats him great.  He had to make and carry some homemade jam to some of his favorites the other day!  We now have his school work along with Jon’s ALL over the fridge.  He loves it when I put something of his on the fridge.  You can just see the confidence and pride well up in him.  We are still planning on getting him tested in several months just to understand what he lacks, where his strengths and weakness are and what to clearly stay away from.  Turns out that he had never learned his multiplication tables.  We uncovered this as he was doing Rossetta Stone, a series of computer lessons to teach a new language quickly.  The little squirt learned ALL of his multiplication tables, in English and Russian, in ONE day.   We want to have him tested so that we can be aware of what he lacks.  Also some of our friends from church have told us that North Corinth Baptist Church does a summer school program where kids can study material specifically designed to get them caught up to where they need to be for their grade level.  We are checking it out and hopeful.  This would be a great transition into public school for Jake.

9.  I am doing fantastic.  I am still so amazed at how well bonding has been going and how well he is adjusting.  Oh, there are moments, but the good times FAR outweigh the less than good.  We really haven’t had ANY bad times – all praise to God who has blessed us beyond what we ever dreamed or deserved.  God has just been weaving us together as a family and it is evident.  Jake is beginning to just come and give us hugs and kisses for no reason other than to show us love, and for anyone that has every adopted a child like Jake – you know this is a HUGE step.  Only God could make him a part of our family under the conditions in which he came.  He is beginning to open up and talk about his past.  My heart literally breaks in pain for him.  How could anyone look into his beautiful eyes and even lift a finger to harm him, but it has happened and happened often.  I am trusting  God to use all of this to Jake’s good – and I am confident that He can and will and desires to.  Jake is learning more and more about God’s goodness.  He watched our church’s Passion Play 3 times.  Just last night Jake asked if I thought he would ever kick a football for Mississippi State and I said that I didn’t know, but that God had a wonderful plan for his life.  With shock Jake looked at me and asked “Ree-wee (really), me – Jake?”  and I said YES, then he said “What about Jon-a?”  He had no idea that God would take the time to care about him.  As the language progresses so does his interest in God and we ask you to pray for us as his family that we fully allow God to live through us for him to see. 

10.  O.k. so what’s up with Mississippi Steak.  Well,  Saturday we took the boys to MSU for their spring game.  It was, without a doubt, the best day we have ever had as a family.  To be honest, it was the first day that we have had since Jake got home in January that we had the whole day as just a family.  We loaded up a picnic and headed to Starkville. We also know the center, D.J. Looney #66.  He is a friend that we met in B’ham and he has a love for orphans.  D.J. had not saw Jake or Jon since the summer and the boys really wanted to see him play.  He saw us and hugs went around and the boys we so thrilled that he took time from the busy day to talk to them and love on them.  They also got his “after-graph”  (autograph)  We love D.J.!!!  He is awesome and we can’t wait to see him play this fall!!!!  The boys got to go the bookstore and get new caps and new t-shirts, by the way when I say boys – that includes Jerry.  I got a Christmas ornament.  We took lots of pictures and video.  State now has the biggest TV in their stadium so the boys were just awestruck and loved watching every minute.  Between the autograph signing and the scrimmage game we had our picnic and made a quick trip over to the Mossy Oak outlet in Westpoint.  One of our family friends has introduced the boys to turkey hunting.  Don’t worry, Jake doesn’t get a gun.  Both boys have been dying to get turkey calls.  Well they brought some money with them from their Easter gifts  and both boys got turkey calls.  We drove all over Starkville and I just knew that a flock of turkeys would be following us.  Do you know what it sounds like to have two boys,  both learning how to properly use a turkey call, squawking in a car for several hours?  I didn’t think it was possible for your ear drums to literally fall out of your ears, but I think mine did yesterday.  We got back to the stadium, found great seats, got popcorn and coke, watched D.J. and his maroon team win and cheered “GO STEAK” with pride.  I didnt’ have the heart to correct him.  Oh, he also got to participate in his first national anthem!

 

So, what is next on the family agenda.  Well, Wednesday is a big day for us.  Jake, because of his age, will have to take the American Oath of Citizenship.  Now granted he IS already an American citizen, but just to make sure, he will have to say the oath as well.  We are excited for him.  Next is the re-adoption in the US.  He is 100%, fully, down to the legal letter our son, BUT if we want a birth certificate in English he will have to be re-adopted by and American judge.  So we are beginning that process as well.  More updates on that when we know more. 

Well, there it is in a nut shell.  I must really give praise and thankfulness to God. Those three years just seem to melt away when I look at us all together.  God’ promises are worth waiting for.  We are doing quite well.  Really our only struggle as of today is that he is still quite scared of kids his own age.  Remember those are the people he lived with and that treated him badly for most of his life.  He just simply doesn’t trust them, but our kids are just loving him anyway and we are beginning to see the emotional walls crack.  It is like poor Joshua and the children of Israel walking around Jericho.  Sometimes you have to make more than one trip to get the walls to come down. 

Family is beautiful and we are blessed to have both our boys.  We feel so honored that we have the privilege to have one by birth and one by adoption.  Love is a great thing!

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How are you doing really? February 16, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — queenjanetw @ 9:13 pm

This has been the big question everyone has been asking.  The days are rolling by and before long we will have a solid month under our belts as the parents of two boys.  It seems rather bland when you say it like that – the parents of two boys – it leaves out all the flavor of what it took to get both boys.  Anyway, I thought I just give you snip-its of what has been happening around our house.  Can I just say that God has really blessed us and our transition has been much smoother that many of our other friends in this adoption stuff.  We have had three years to prepare and Jake to some what prepare.  So with that said here goes…

1.  Jake is eating us out of house and home.  He loves American food and he really likes the variety.  He wants a different “style” every night.  We have cooked some home food for him.  Things like borscth and verenekey.  Oh, we actually found verenekey at WALMART in the frozen foods!!  Very excited and they are really good.  What, you ask, is borscht and verenekey – borscht is like veggie soup and verenekey are like ravolli filled with potatoes and cheese.  He drinks anything we put in a glass and loves, LOVES sweet ice tea.  Jon has always been a great eater and never picky.   He loves the Ukrainian style foods and so the whole family is eating a blend of everything.

2.  Mom is homeschooling Jake with just English and art projects.  After an evaluation in B’ham we learned that he had been severely traumatized in the orphanage school.  He was told he was stupid and that was why he was in the orphanage.  He was told his brain was too small and many other things.  All this for 12 years and it has a profound effect on a kid.  He was also told that if he didn’t do well in school we would send him back.  The doctor wanted us to postpone full blown school for at least 6 months.  She told us to focus on things that Jake could succeed at so that he would see for himself how smart he is and how talented he really is.  So we are focusing on English using Hooked on Phonics and other resouces and he is really doing great.  He has finished the first book and can read anything.  Now understand that he doesn’t yet know what some of the words mean, but he will.  He is very artistic.  He has never really had the chance to color in a coloring book and loves it.  Also he is learning to cook and plan meals with Nana.  He is GREAT around the kitchen and really helps out.  We can see his confidence building.  Jerry is meeting with the principal at the school he will attend and they are setting up a weekly time that Jake can go to school, with Jerry in the hall, and take an ESL class.  Introduction to school must be gradual for him.  Jon is rolling right along in the 5th grade.  We are tickled pink that he won 1st place in his division of the science fair.  He will be going on to the district level.  Also we hear that today Jon was asked to DANCE at a high school pep rally.  Please know that he did a fantastic job!! 

3.  The boys are in fact fighting sometimes.  Other parents of more than one child tell me this is normal and a part of having more than one.  Jerry and I have never experienced this before.  We are learning how to handle everything.  Boys can get so mad so quick and then cool off so quick and act like nothing has ever happened.  Jake’s downfall is that he aggreavates Jon to the point of insanity about any and everything.  This doesn’t happen constantly, but when Jake is in one of “those moods” he just won’t let up.  Jon’s downfall is that he takes and takes and then blows his top which means he punches the stuffing out of Jake.  Rather than let off a little steam, he waits and BLOWS.  So we have been working on Jake learning what we call the #2 rule – once is funny, twice is enough and three times is torture.  Jon is learning that he can’t punch even when he wants to.  We are applying the count to 10 method with him – walk away 10 paces and then swing!  Actually they do get along very well.  They will tell on each other and then cry when the other one is getting in trouble!  Go figure and we aren’t even whipping them!  We are just talking sternly to them!  If we seperate them they both cry and tell us they love the other on and beg us not to put them apart, them they start fighting again – boys who can figure them out. 

4.  Jake had to learn that he could not speak to us in a smarty tone.  The powers of ignoring worked very well with this.  Seems that mom, dad and Jon don’t hear you if you are being smarty.  Now if he messes up he will quickly correct himself and jsut grin.

5.  The constant attention that he first needed is lessening.  He is doing a much better job of being able to calm himself as well as waiting on attention.  He is feeling quite safe and secure and sleeping through the night.  The only time he really gets frustrated is when I am on the phone.  He will stand in front of me and continually  kiss me or tickle me to keep my attention focused on him.  Strangely he is not jealous of Jon getting attention, but the phone, whew it is an ordeal.  Usually I will go outside or in the other room to make a call. 

6.  We know have american flags in 4 rooms of the house – they totally add to the decor being that they were the cheap ones from Walmart.

7.  Things Jake loves – giving offereings at church, going to church, playing basketball, playing baseball, getting the mail, taking out the trash, sleeping with a bunch of pillows, drinking hot tea, chicken quesadillias, rotel dip,  Jon acting goofy, using a whoppee cushion at the table, looking at Jon’s baby pictures, telling me stories about Ukraine, checking the temperature and calendar.

8.  Things Jon loves – acting goofy, chicken and rice, playing star wars, drawing anything – he is really good, his buddies at school, time alone with mom and dad, him and Jake making fun of me and Jerry, being one of two with a pug nose (I am the other one), playing sports with Jerry, sleeping with a bunch of pillows, shrimp chimichingas

9.  Things Jerry and Jan like – we don’t really know anymore but I think chocolate would be high on the list next to alone time.

10.  We are doing good.  There are moments when I think that one more fuss or one more pulling on me to get my attention or one more poop or pee in the floor will send me over the edge – and then I just put Jerry outside and things go back to being calm.  Just kidding – I am keeping him outside all the time.  We really doing fantastic and our family is blooming.  We have two quick prayer requests – Jake is having a TERRIBLY hard time making friends, however our youth are WONDERFUL  and they never give up.  They are so patient with him and just continually reach out to him and he is coming around.  He will get in the car and talk about them and tell me they are good.  So friends are coming.  The other is that Jake is REALLY inrested in Jesus and his life.  He has lots of questions and pray for wisdom on our part to answer those.  We know that God is beginning to call to his heart and we look forward to the day we will celebrate his salvation. 

Well there’s the news.  Should anything progress I will let you know.  Much love to all !

 

Yes Honey, We Eat Them, YUM YUM! February 3, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — queenjanetw @ 5:02 am

O.k. to start things off we are doing really good.  Nothing has happened so far that God hadn’t already prepared us for or that He hasn’t given us the insight and guidance to deal with.   So with that out of the way allow me to tell you how I totally traumatized my son the other day.  I decided to take off the entire first week he has been home.  I wanted to help get him settled and get the medical stuff out of the way and basically just get some plans for education and most importantly begin the process of forming a healthy attachment.  So we were driving back home after visiting with my mom on my birthday (age is irrelevant to this story) when we passed something you will only see in the deep, deep, deep, deep south – a cock fighting farm.  Now for those of you that have no idea of what this type of farm produces let me educate you on the finer art of raising fightin’ roosters.  In the south for many generations, folks have raised roosters for the purpose of slinging them merciless into a ring with another rooster to see those two birds fight until one in no more.  This act is thankfully illegal, however raising such a rooster is not and many of these farms will sell these birds to overseas buyers where fighting (and betting) are not illegal.  These farms are arranged so tastefully with the birds usually tethered to an old rusty barrel turned on its side to shield the poor creature from the elements and often there are at least a hundred or so of these setups in row after row surrounded by a fence, the purpose of the fence is still a mystery to me.  Now back to the story, as we were coming home from my mom’s house Jake noticed the rooster farm.  He then asked if it was a” KA-ZSH-some sounds that I can’t pronounce”.  I ASSUMED that he was trying to say chicken and I answered with a yes – that is correct.  Rather than stun him with the gore of rooster fighting I decided to take the lesser of two evils and tell him that those were chickens that we ate.  He looked at me and with a combination look of disgust and fear he said, “No, ma, no!  OH, NO, ewwwww no!”  I went on to say “YES, honey, (acting as if eating a drumstick) they are good, yum, yum!”  It was followed by more no-ing and weird looks.  Which I battled back with the yes-ing and even added some finger licking and smacking to my motions.  Then he just sat quietly in the car as if he was utterly shocked beyond words.  I began to think that maybe he really didn’t know where chicken came from and this was his first insight into the whole circle of life thing.  That is when we drove past another place.  Like the rooster farm it too was fenced in.  There were also rows, but the only things missing were the roosters.  Why no roosters you ask?  Well, how many CEMETERIES have roosters lodging in them.  That is right, Jake had asked if the rooster farm was a CEMETERY;  I thought he was trying to say the word for chicken and he interpreted me to say that we eat DEAD PEOPLE.  Not only that, but they are YUM YUM.  Law me he even got the impression they were FINGER LICKIN GOOD!  No wonder he sat in stunned silence!  The poor child was probably wondering what or who he had for supper the night before.  jAs we passed the CEMETERY he shyly asked again if that was a KA-ZSH-blah-blah and I put two and two together.  I died out laughing and then realized I was the only one ha-ha-ing in the car.  I then proceeded to explain to him my mistake and his mistake.  He never laughed, but did let out a huge sigh of relief.  Since then every time we pass a cemetery he crows like a rooster and just laughs.  Who says you need a translator!

 

Things We are Learning January 30, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — queenjanetw @ 4:37 am

This is like a crash course in human development and personalities.  EVERYDAY is filled with something new.  Its not like when you have a newborn and they just basically have four needs:  warmth, fresh diapers, bottles, and love.  Every moment presents a new need and one that you may not interpret correctly.  We are learning that when he wakes up he is a total, hyped up, adrenaline juiced up, live wire!  He is a WILD CHILD.  How can you wake up so totally stimulated before getting even a whiff of coffee??  How is that possible?  However when he gets sleepy, the grumpies set in.  Nothing suits him and the tone of communication takes on a “frustrated” tone.  Also obedience takes a left turn at I’ll do as I please.  Tonight we learned that when mama says she will help, she has a much better plan than sticking a fork in our MP3 that isn’t working properly in an effort to fix it.  Seems mama has the power to print out receipts in order to SWAP our defective MP3 for a brand spanking new one!  Learned a lot from Heather Forbes!!! When he is frustrated there is no need in trying to get his attention or trying to explain – he has to calm down in order to be able to listen AND understand.  After refusing to let mama help, or come to her with the problem,  and then ignoring her advice, AND once he realized that even the fork couldn’t fix the defective MP3 player he came to the point that he understood all his efforts were in vain.  That is when he decided to seek out that strange, fluffy woman that has been calling herself Mama and loving on him and fixing his meals and washing his clothes and praying over his bed.  Seems that while he was in the midst of his “frustrated moment”  hismama had already began looking up NEW MP3 players online .  Then as he realized his actions were not actions that pleased me he became embarrassed.  That’s when I swooped in for the kill and had him, of all things, sit on my lap and receive a hug, a kiss and an “I love you, but don’t talk to mom that way”.  Then we began to look at possibilities for a new player.  Now this time it worked, next time who knows.  Am I saying all this to confirm that I am the best parent ever and I am all knowing?  No, it is enough to be the queen.  As a matter of fact I want to plainly state that it was not my idea at all, but in fact an answer to prayers.  God is so wonderful and so intimate and so personal.  This moment with him was SUCH a picture of so many moments in my life where I too, being frustrated ignored God’s words, His help, His guidance and refused to come to Him.  Then as I reached my end and took a look around I realized that while I was flopping around like a fish out of water, He was already preparing something good for me and just waiting for me to climb up into His prayer lap, receive an ‘”I love you, but you can’t talk to your Father like that” and then receive a wonderful blessing from Him.  We talk a lot about God meeting our deepest needs, shoot, he meets those right there on the surface that just come on us in an instant and begin to overwhelm us.  God has taken years, literally, to prepare me for this moment.  Please do not share your thoughts as to why it took that long – I have my own ideas and most of them involve Jerry.  I guess what I am trying to express here is that God made me prepared using both the good and, well, less than good moments of my life.  That is ultimate power – to have all things both good and bad under your feet and to produce something wonderful from them.  Do we really realize just how dependent we are on His every word and guidance?  I know I really don’t.  Thank goodness He is there when we cry out and need him.  There have been a WHOLE lot of wonderful things between his arrival and this first moment of discipline and my prayer is that he can draw on those things when we need to, er um, make adjustments.  What did Jon do during this ordeal?  He portrayed another aspect of being a believer, only the positive way.  Quietly in his gentle spirit he began to sweetly ask if I thought it would be alright for him to purchase a new MP3 player with some of his money.  With wisdom and unselfishness he made a very good choice and with patience asked when we could take him and let him get it.  I have had those  moments in my walk with God, humbly I say they are too few, but they are so wonderful.  Do we love both boys = you bet.  Do we think both boys are wonderful = you bet.  Do we want to give both boys good things = you bet.  It is just that one needs different types of adjustments that they other.  I am sure when God looks down on Jerry and myself He feels the same way.  Boy that Jerry needs a lot of tuning to be as wonderful as me.  Thankfully He still loves us perfectly.  The outcome here was positive and we are relying on the TRUTH that when everything is gone Faith, Hope and Love will remain.  Time to go, Jon is waiting on his usual prayer time and Jake has just stuck his head out the door asking “Mama you come to me?” .  One certain, one testing the waters after a mistake- both loved.  We serve a wonderful Father.  The moral of this story… Don’t stick a frustrated fork in your problems;  its much better to see what wonderful plans God has already prepared for you.

 

Its All in the Translation January 27, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — queenjanetw @ 8:07 pm

So, I don’t want anyone to think that I am making fun of Jake’s new English skills.  Heaven knows that I admire him totally for what he is doing and the difficulity of learning a new language at age 15, but really, there are some cute phrases!  So here goes, our new words (and the translations!)

1.  Ma, dis = Mama come look at the latest thing I have found or can do and watch it at least 10 times.

2.  Man-Lissa = Mandisa’s song Shackles

3.  Cah-cah = Pogo poop

4.  Gome = the place where we live, our HOME

5.  ahh-ma-lent = omelet with at least 4 extra large eggs, 1/2 cup of milk, 4 Tbs. flour and lots of oil

6.  wee-cee-prob-a-lee-ok = We will see, but probably so Daddy is thinking about letting me do what I have asked but he won’t tell me immediately so that I can learn patience.

7.  Po-Ho-No = Pogo don’t pee or poop on the floor

8.  I-no-unnna-stan = I really do understand, but if I say I don’t understand I won’t have to clean out the dishwasher.

9. shhhh-shhhh-shhhh = washing machine

10.  Lamp-Bart = (this is the best one yet, are you ready)  Wal-Mart

So much to learn, but he is trying and we are very proud of his efforts.  Well, gotta go he is wanting me to “Mama, dis” something he has seen at Lamp-Bart.  So, ok bye, yes (that is good-bye in Ringlish)!

 

WHEW!!!! January 26, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — queenjanetw @ 10:25 pm

You talk about being busy – we have been busy.  Seems like since the boys got home things have been a whirlwind!!!  Everything is going good.  Now keep in mind that good does not mean perfect, but it is remarkably good.  Jake is settling in, and settling he needs to do.  This week will be “calm” down time.  Everything is so stimulating and he gets so caught up in doing and going that he doesn’t want to rest.  At least this afternoon he has settled down and is watching a movie.  Now that is after waking up at 5 this morning, dancing and singing to Mandisa ALL, I mean ALL day long and riding his bike for about a mile.  It is going to take a lot of physical activity to use up a lot of energy to get him to the point where he is relaxed and resting.  We are working on not rolling our eyes and huffing when mom or dad ask you to do something and you would rather do something else.  So far so good and humor works great with him.  Today I asked him to hang his clothes up, I was met with “No mama, no, please you do, I computer”  Which was then met with “Oh, Jake, oh Jake oh PLEEEEAAAASSSEEE Jake, boo hoo boo hoo mama so tired, oh, Jake”  Please read this in a whiney and loud tone.  He said – “Ma, o.k. I do you a stinker.”  So hopefully humor will be a weapon to use.  He loves to clean out the dishwasher so that has been a great way to praise him and help build his confidence.  We are looking to the “Fruits of the Spirit” as a guide to what we can help him develop.  Jon is doing great with everything.  Don’t get misled there are things that are difficult, but thanks to the summer visit Jerry and I had some insight on early adjustments that we could make to transition easier into a family of four.  We will try to have hair cuts this week with Meee-sss-ter Toe-me and a trip to Dr. Tuckers and hopefully a teeth cleaning session at Dr. Cummings.  Lots to do.  What can you be praying for… well here goes…

1.  Pray that Jake will develop paitence when he has a need.  Right now we are trying to establish trust with him by meeting most needs immediately or at least helping him to meet the need.

2.  Pray that Jon will develop an understanding for Jake’s way of thinking.  Jon is having a hard time understanding why Jake unplugs the PSP controller when he goes to the bathroom and takes it with him.  Remember that in the orphanage if you didn’t have your hands on it someone stole it.  Jon is so new to all of this and sometimes thinks Jake doesn’t like him. 

3.  Pray that I will not go deaf from hearing “Mama dis, Mama dis…”  Jake likes for me to watch EVERYTHING he does and give approval.  Hey this is a blessing in a sense because he is including me.  But when you have watching the Ema-Pee-Tree (MP3) video of Staci Orrico 500 hundred times it can get old.

4.  Pray that Jerry finally gets some sleep.  Poor thing he has been waking up at 4.  I suggested a quick house cleaning session – he didn’t agree.  What else is there to do at 4 in the moring??

5.  Please pray for English development and confidence.  This is coming along quite well.  Jake is trying at home and speaking a great deal of perfect English and complete sentences.  In public its another story.  He really acts like a toddler that has learned their first few words and is too shy to speak to anyone. 

6.  Pray for continued bonding.  Those few months when he was on his own in the dorm have caused him to not ask for permission so often.  It is getting better as he is gently reminded to ask mama and papa because we love him.

7.  Pray for kindness in speech.  Sometimes he has to be reminded to be poliet and refrain from speaking to mama or daddy as if he is sick and tired of them living.  Russian is a forceful language anyway and he is very passionate about everything from cleaning up Pogo’s mess to eatting a “Wrrrrap”.  We are trying the repeat-after-me approach and it is being sucessful. 

Now as for blessings we are thrilled with…

1.  Jake is sleeping and eating well.

2.  Jake is taking excellent care of his dog and even taught him to sit – why not potty outside, why, why, why, why…

3.  Jake is helping around the house an adding his touches to things

4.  Jake and Jon are playing together and sharing.  Yesterday Jake’s dog gnawed one of Jon’s drawing pencils to shards.  Jake went into his room to get Jon something to swap for it.   Jon equally as sweet wouldn’t let me buy him a new pair of shoes when we bought Jake a pair.  Jon said “Mom I am fine, please don’t get me a pair.”  Precious – Precious

5.  I no longer have to clean up dog mess!!!!!! 

6.  Jerry is getting to sleep in his bed at least for a few hours.

7.  We have been a step ahead with the issues that Jon faced this summer.  Loneliness is down to about a 2 compared to the summer where it was at a 9.   Having sometime at the end of the day to just be with him mom and dad has helped.  Also I am trying to be more aware of him when Jake is demanding my attention.  Every kiss and hug is doubled. 

8.  Both boys are obedient, eventually and usually without too much of complaining.  This will improve.

9.  Jake felt confident enough to call home today to do a little gloating and to check on his friend Sergey and Inna and Svetlana.  Seems Katya wants for us to now return and adopt her and her boyfriend.  Jake told her no we couldn’t do that and told her that I couldn’t understand Russian so she couldn’t ask!!!  Too much.

10.  Jake did talk to his birth mother and we are calling her Mama Vera.  My mom taught me a long time ago (being adopted myself) that God gave me Jake and no human can take him away so why be selfish.  He was a little worried that I wouldn’t let him talk to her, but after a few moments he began to tell me about her.  It was a good thing for both of us.  I am confident in my calling and God’s plan and I hope to see that birthed in my children.  For all of her faults, she did give Jake life when she could have aborted him.  For this I am so grateful to her.  Only by God’s grace was I adopted at 2 weeks old rather than 15 years old. 

11.  Coconut cake – Law my family came over last night and brought me a coconut cake.  They are actually my family by choice.  When we went to IBC there were these 4 gals that absolutely were my family – how could I tell.  Well they were just like me and that is a rare, really rare find.  Anyway they could make a coconut cake that would make me slap Jerry.  Every year for my birthday Jerry would get them to make me a cake.  Then last night right on my doorstep there they were and God bless them the cake was still WARM!!!  I didn’t serve myself using a spatula, no honey, I got out the BIG soup spoon, stainless steel, extra heavy handle and SCOOPED out a corner of coconut goodness.  OOOHHHH WEEEE – there was still juice driping from the moist cake!!  My hips screamed GLORY as my drawers started cutting off blood supply! It was so good and just what I needed Not to mention that we got to sit and talk.  I cried for a hour after they left, but at least I did it with a bowl of coconut cake and a glass of milk!

Things are good and adjustments are being made and there are more to come.  The dryer has stopped and now I must go attend to the laundry.  I will try to post often and let you know what is going on.  Thank you so much for your love and concern for our family and the prayers on our behalf.  We KNOW you are praying for us because we can feel them.  God is to be praised for His work in everything!  Please also take a moment to look into supporting a pro-life organization.  Keep in mind that both me and Jake really should have been aborted in the eyes of society – according to recent news our government and President have taken a shift toward killing babies rather than protecting them and this includes international funding of abortions!  Think about there never being Jake…

 

Family Feast January 24, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — queenjanetw @ 2:36 am

Just a quick note to let you know that all is well in the Williams household tonight.  The boys arrived safe and sound around 10:30 a.m. this morning and were greeted bya small multitude of friends and family with signs and flags.  Jake was all smiles and pleasantly overwhelmed as he gave out the hugs and kept telling me not to cry.  The caravan proceeded to Crack Barrel where the hostess laughed at Jerry as he told her we wanted a table to seat 22.  Actually they accommodated when they realized he was serious.  We munched down on everything from fish to egg omelets.  Then homeward bound.  Every major sign Jake saw caused him to yell out “MISS – AH – SEEP – EEEE”  By the time we finally arrived he was like “Ah, o.k.”  Once home we were again greeted with more friends, food and getting to watch Jake get his puppy!!  Love at first sight, love at first sight.  After a game of silly string, Nerf dart guns and some “gaaaam-burgers”  we were all drained.  As I write this both boys are in bed snoring.  Jon has been on cloud 9 today.  He got to spend some time with family that we don’t get to see as often as our hearts want to and those boys were a total riot in the car today.  At one point Jon was bending his elbow so that it looked like – well I am just being honest here and if this offends you sorry – a bootie.  Then he would place a Tootsie Roll in the “crack” and Jake would then eat it.  This was followed by total laughter and me gagging.  Gosh they act so much like their dad!  Things seem to have picked up where we left off from this summer.  I am still trying to live with the reality that we never have to send him back or ask permission from anyone concerning his life.  He made his nest even planting fridge magnets on the fridge.  He and Jon have also had the “stop – mama tell him to stop, he won’t stop, stop I said (uncontrolled laughter)  o.k. come on!” moments.  At one point Jake’s dog and our Yorkie were fighting and Jake sat them both down and began to tell them something about loving each other and then MADE them kiss and make up  – toooooo cute.  Oh, the day has been so full that I could type for hours.  I am so grateful to my precious God and Father that brought this into my life.  As we said prayers with the boys tonight Jake tried to thank God for his family only to stop because of tears and then joyfully he proclaimed – “I love you!”  Does he fully understand  – probably not, but hey neither do Jerry, Jon and myself, but we have the chance to learn and we have the Greatest Teacher!  Today was good, were there challenges – well of course, but like ole Paul said – I count this stuff as junk compared to the chance to know the love of God more fully – QJV (queen janet version).  That is what today has been – FULL and this chunky mama has enjoyed the feast.