What She Meant as Harm, God Used to our Good November 23, 2008

What a moment we have had this weekend! OH, it is sooooo a God thing. Remember the judge, the one thinking that she was going to use her authority to, well, show us who was boss and how she said she wasn’t going to be merciful or compassionate to us. Well funny thing happened on the way to adopt Jake…

Let me set the backdrop as was explained to me. Back in the days of Stalin all people were to have a number that registered them and was used to keep track and control of them. Although the use for the number has totally changed, the people of Ukraine still get such a number. It is similar to a SSN number, but not quite the same. Most people get the number at their place of birth, however Jake did not. Now if a child is placed into an orphanage it is the RESPONSIBILITY of the director to make sure that the child has the number and if not, get them one. Well the director, not naming any names here but it starts with and “L” and ends with an “a”, couldn’t find the time in 12 years to get Jake’s number. Now she TOLD Sergey she had registered him and even made Sergey look like an idiot for not knowing where to go to get the document and then and even sent him to the registrar’s office to get the paperwork and when there was no paperwork or number to be found, well she had conveniently left the office for the day and could not be contacted. So the long and short of it is that Jake has NEVER been issued this number. Now the backdrop has been set.

Here is the deal… he MUST have the number BEFORE the court hearing, because of the name change. It is a must and if we had the court hearing any sooner and his name would have been changed, well the adoption wouldn’t happen.

Um, we found out FRIDAY, the day after we wanted to have court, that he didn’t have the number! God is so in control, so in control. What she meant as harm, God used to our good in so many ways. He used our disappointment to restore and strengthen our resolve, he taught our children that their parents loved them and they would do anything for their well being, in the days of waiting we were all able to see and experience what it means to rest in God’s victory and then to see it come full circle, we were reminded how much others loved us by the emails, blog posts and phone calls, we are so excited at the blessings others will receive for being so understanding of our situation and supporting us even when it made life more difficult for them, and today our baby got to see and LIVE the experience of God’s goodness to His children as they wait for Him. Oh, I could write a book about what all God has done for this family that drops our jaws. I can’t wait until we can tell Sergey and he sees the whole picture of God’s goodness toward us and as he sees a love that is so individualistic and personal from a God that did everything necessary so we could call him Father. I wish I had the ability to put into words how the process of adoption parallels the experience of salvation. I wish every family could experience what ours has and to let you know, there are 100,000 orphans in Ukraine today and many more around the world. Have you every asked God if adoption is something He wants you to be open to doing? Ask Him, at least offer—remember that “Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after widows and orphans in their distress and keep one’s self unstained by the world” James 1:26 & 27. Hey I didn’t say it—God did. Some people think they are too old, hey guess what, there are TEENS that need homes. Not every adoption is like ours, God will custom design your adoption to fit your needs and teach you what He wants you to learn. Is everyone supposed to adopt—Well that is for God to answer, but I do know that EVERYONE has a responsibility to these children as an act of love toward serving Jesus—EVERYONE. Have you been touched by our journey, my prayer is that it calls you into action of some type…www.reachorphanswithhope.com

Now that sermon didn’t cost you anything. So this week Sergey is going to try and get the number! Please pray for this because nobody knows exactly what to do to get the number or for that matter who is supposed to file the papers and even where we are supposed to file them. The regional office at Zap says it has to be filed in his legal town of residence which is Vasilivik, the people at Vasilivik want to make sure they don’t get into trouble because it should have been given to him 12 years ago, the people at Matveevka can’t be found. So on Monday we try again to get the number. Please pray for Jake as well, it seems that if satan can’t get to us, well he will try an alternate route of attack. This weekend Jake had an encounter with his other brother by phone that was very emotional and difficult for him. Jake was basically accused of abandoning his family and nation and we were accused of wanting to adopt him only to use him. Jake handled everything with truth. Many hurtful comments were made to him and as he told us the things my heart just broke for him and I became very angry. I reminded him that we loved him and that he was in our family FOREVER. That’s all it took. It was amazing. He said “Its o.k.” smiled, kissed me and started eating his fries. I am not naïve to think that there won’t be emotional issues that we will need to process at home, but I am seeing how God is moving and while I don’t understand the circumstance fully, I do trust my Father to be in control of all of them. Your prayers are so treasured. As a matter of fact Sergey was talking about prayer the other day and mentioned that one of the reasons he was bothered by religion in Ukraine was that a type of priest would pray for you if you gave him money and the more money you gave the more he prayed—he didn’t like that. When we told him of all your prayers on our behalf, and prayers that were lifted up around the clock for no cost, other than you loved us and we loved you—well he was amazed. We talked about church family, and how we love and are loved. We were asked how Jake would be received and I told Sergey to watch Jake’s face as I mentioned some names—and as the smiles grew and grew it spoke volumes about how you have loved him. Your love for us has been such a testimony of God’s goodness. Everyone in the process is so amazed that our employers have the compassion to allow us to leave and be gone to adopt this one child, and a teenager at that. There are so many things that you have been a part of here. You have a testimony here in Ukraine even though you are 9000 miles away. Your love for us is speaking VOLUMES everywhere we go. Our prayer and thanksgiving can be summed in Colossians 1: 3-7

“We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, for we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints because of the hope reserved for you in heaven. You have already heard about [this hope] in the message of truth, the gospel that has come to you. It is bearing fruit and growing all over the world, just as it has among you since the day you heard it and recognized God’s grace in the truth.”

We do love you family and friends, we love you dearly and we miss you. I am so very pleased to be able to bring my children home to you. I must admit that I am really happy to be coming home to you soon too! We have a unique existence as Christian brothers and sisters. There is NOTHING that compares to it. We do love you and are so thankful for your help and prayers and we are chomping at the bits to get back home, all FOUR of us.

Love from our side to yours!

How was your weekend? November 23, 2008

Ours—hilarious!! Here goes…

Jerry learned a valuable lesson in hair design. Seems that he located a beauty salon. So off he and Sergey went to get his hair cut. Now Jerry has always had the same haircut since birth. It doesn’t matter where he goes or who cuts his hair it always looks the same—until this time!!! He decided he knew all there was to know about giving directions as to what the stylist should do. So, once in the chair with the cape on, he had Sergey stand close by as JERRY gave directions as to how his hair was SUPPOSED to be cut. Can I tell you that something, some important things, were lost in translation. He would have been much better off to just show the girl a picture of himself from a few weeks ago and let her do he job, but oh no, Jerry the Hair Dictator, gave explicit directions even to the point of HAND selecting the guard for the clippers. Let me tell you, the girl did EXACTLY what Jerry told her to do. He came home looking like Adolph Hitler. Yes, he did!! Just like Hitler. Even Jon thought so. I was in the bathroom putting on my makeup and when Jerry came through the door Jon saw him first and just died out laughing and hollering “Mama come here, you GOTTA see Daddy’s hair, it is soooo funny!” Jerry turned the corner and all I could think was “Hail Jerry!” Now, please keep in mind that I had offered to trim his hair. I had offered to just touch up a few spots and Jerry said NO!! He didn’t think I could do the job!! Do you smell an “I told you so” coming. Needless to say, Jerry was very sweet when he asked me to touch up his hair. The only scissors I have are Jon’s school scissors. YES I did! I trimmed up Jerry’s hair with the ole Crayola Safety Scissors in blue and green! The living room was converted into Jan’s House of Gorgeous and within 15 minutes he was looking more like himself. To those of you that have had to cut Jerry’s hair before—I would like to extend my deepest sympathy because he is a BIG baby! Every time I combed his hair he made these noises as if I had just sliced right through his scalp. Oh, and the faces, you would have thought that he was receiving electric shocks every time I came toward him with the scissors. I asked if he did this every time he got a haircut and he said YES! No, wonder the poor Ukrainian girl was so nervous giving him a cut, first of all there he was sitting in the chair with a TRANSLATOR giving HER directions, next he was making all these weird sounds as if he was about to have a spell, and then his face was contorted into all manner of looks of torture! I offered to do his nails and he had the nerve to decline! Now I did put my foot down and made him let me trim his beard. Now maybe people will stop saluting him everywhere we go.

I don’t know where you were raised, but where I come from when a woman is about to walk through a door a man is supposed to hold the door open for her, and if the door is open he should step to the side until she is out. There is a man in Ukraine that is now fully aware of this lesson. Jon and I both are tired of being pushed, pulled, reached across, and stepped in front of in public places. Now in Ukraine nobody thinks about that as rude, and we also found out that starring at a person is not considered rude. These are just cultural differences. But when you have lived your whole life being taught a different set of manners and being whopped (yes, mother you did to whip us) for not following them, well adjustment doesn’t happen easily even if you have been here for several weeks. We had gone to a toy store and enjoyed shopping and seeing all the toys. We were going to head across the street to the grocery store. I was in front of the family caravan and headed out the door when I spotted him, a guy headed in the store. It was then that something rose up in me, we call it a “Mrs. Etta moment” in our family. I have a great-grandmother that could get her dander up and she meant business. Let me tell you my Granny Hodges would have been very proud of this girl. I decided that only one of us could go through that door at a time and I was gonna be first. I maybe sweet, I maybe jolly, I maybe fun loving but what I am is large enough to be in charge! I headed to the door determined, he headed to the door oblivious to what was about to happen to him. Ladies and gentlemen, I was totally successful. I, along with all of my family and packages did in fact, and most certainly go through the door first, and when the guy got up he very politely waited until we had totally got to the sidewalk before he even attempted to go through the door. I believe he learned an important lesson that day. I intend on instituting this new policy everywhere I go; Jerry intends on leaving me at home and doing the shopping himself—I think this is a win-win situation for me on any side!

Apparently the above episode has charged up something in me. On our way home from the grocery we stopped at our local quick stop to get water for the day. It is too far to have to carry all the way from the grocery so we stop at a store just a block from the apartment. There are about 5 or 6 ladies that work in the store and just like stores at home all but one of them is very friendly. You know there is always one lady that you HOPE is not working because she is always grumpy! The other ladies have been friendly, helpful and took the time to try and understand us and help us. Not this one lady, she just rolls her eyes when we come through the door. I hope and pray that in the US particularly in our hometown that we do not treat people of different nationalities as this. It is difficult being in a foreign country with different cultural norms and to have someone roll their eyes or be frustrated with you for trying to fit in is hurtful. Please take this into account when you see someone else from another country. Anyway, off that soap box and onto the ice cream. We had gone into the store and who should we see working at the water counter—yes, Ms. Sunshine herself. She immediately began rolling her eyes and saying things to the other ladies, and bless them they just smiled at us that smile of “I am so sorry about this” and Jerry just barreled over anyway to get the water. Jon and I stood back not wanting to make matters worse when it happened—anther Mrs. Etta moment. I decided that we were the ones BUYING the water and OUR purchases were one of the reasons that she had a job and therefore her mood was not my problem and Jon and I wanted some ice cream! The ice cream was at her counter and as Jerry was getting the water I went to the counter to open it and get out the ice cream. Do you know what she did!?!? She SLAPPED MY HAND. Yes, she did she SLAPPED my hand away from the ice cream machine. Oh, my word Granny Hodges rose up in me and when I was finished we had full service of the ice cream machine and got the ice cream cones that we wanted located in the most difficult section to reach. We took our ice cream outside and on our way out the ladies at the other counter were just smiling and laughing and walked out with us. I think they were about tired of her attitude too.

So between my, shall we say, unusually forceful moments (stop laughing Hitler) and Jerry’s salon trauma we have had a totally eventful weekend. My medicine did arrive and strangely enough I had a dose of it before the above events took place. Can you imagine me without it! We did see Jake and took him chicken nuggets and fries and next time he wants us to bring chicken nuggets, a big mac, 2 orders of fries and three cokes. Law my grocery bill is going to increase. He had picked out the clothes he wants to wear to court and cleared it with the Queen Mother, he and Jon are going to wear jeans and have sweaters that are similar, but not identical—Jon said that would not be cool. They mess with me and they will be wearing matching sweaters with cute little teddy bears and short pants with knee socks (Jerry, put the medicine down I am just joking). Jake is ready for the hearing to take place and asks every time we are together when he can come home with us. Last night we were so tired from the day we forgot to stop off at the quick stop (I think Jerry was scared to stop with me) so this morning we enjoyed a breakfast of bacon, toast and chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and mama, we drank coke for breakfast too! This afternoon will be another journey into town for some goodies. We did find some of the most delicious garlic and cheddar bread on the planet at the grocery store. We have eaten several small loaves of that stuff. It is wonderful!! We also found a pesto that you dip the bread into and it is like being at Olive Garden. We are going to attempt spaghetti again tonight since we found an American bottle of spaghetti sauce. So until our next adventure we are signing out. More news to come—I am sure of it!