So what’s the news today? Well, things started out with getting to sleep late. Not having my medicine does give me some perks. Jerry has successfully managed to bridge the great Atlantic to get my medicine! It was no small task, let me tell you! Seems that Ukraine doesn’t even OFFER a medicine like Lexapro; and why when there’s vodka. So he called Walgreens, got the prescription filled, gave mom directions as to where to Fed-Ex it and come to find out Ukraine DOESN’T ALLOW prescriptions to be shipped into the country!!!!! I will hold my tongue. So, my mom has sent the medicine to our friends the Hall’s and they are BRINGING it over with them when they arrive next week to begin their next adoptions. Yes, it has to be hand delivered, but thank goodness it is arriving. Now seeing as how Jerry was ear deep in troubles I thought I would take some of the responsibilities off of his shoulders. Seeing as how Christmas is fast approaching and we are, well, not near a mall, I thought it might be nice to shop from the comfort of our own apartment. So I suggested that Jerry get a favorite snack, snuggle up beside me on the couch and just watch as I pulled up pages of stores to do a little internet window shopping. Now, every year Jerry and I take off on the first day of either Thanksgiving vacation or Christmas vacation and we head to Florence to hit the malls and my absolute favorite—Target (pronounced Tar – zh -aaaaa) Its French. So he is accustomed to, and by his own admission, likes to go Christmas shopping with me. We visited several internet sites, and found some really good internet deals. We were able to get most of our shopping for the boys complete. Then he said it. I could hardly believe my ears. It seems that it doesn’t matter whether you are in a mall or on the internet, a man is a man wherever they are. Jerry, who had been sitting on the couch the ENTIRE time, who didn’t even have to lift a finger, who only had to sit and VIEW a computer screen uttered the words that almost sent me into immediate orbit— and I quote, “Boy, my back is hurting after all this shopping.” Can you believe it? How can your back hurt when you haven’t even taken a single STEP? Is there some direct nerve to brain connection from the eyes to the back that causes men pain to LOOK at items? How can this phenomena be explained? Perhaps some pharmaceutical company can come up with a drug that blocks the “shopping” pain receptors. Too bad for Ukraine, they would never get any shipped in. I suggested that he sign up for testing, kinda of like a lab RAT to see just what caused this shopping induced back pain. Maybe it is contagious? You see my father had the worst case of anyone I have ever met. He could stand for HOURS at Ole Miss in the grove walking around and visiting with other fans, watching the players come through and then at the football game he was constantly up and down and up and down and his back never seemed to bother him. But you let Mama take him to a mall and within 15 minutes he needed a bench to “rest his back” ! Did Jerry catch it from Daddy? Is this something that he could give to Jon? Oh, my word, what if its GENETIC. What if we women have been unknowingly giving the “bad shopping back” gene to our sons! You know they have that deformed “y” gene anyway. What if Jerry’s defective gene has been passed on to Jon! Maybe Jerry needs to be genetically tested! How is it that this husband of mine can wake up before the crack of dawn (which should be illegal), hike 500 miles into the deepest forest carrying 100 pounds of gear and guns on his BACK, climb up-up-up-up into a tree 50 feet tall and SIT, yes SIT in a tree stand in the bitter cold ALL day long, not looking at anything, just hoping that a precious little, innocent deer comes along to find a tad bit of nourishment and NEVER, NEVER have the first twinge of back discomfort but give him 30 minutes sitting on a SOFA in a warm apartment, looking at a computer screen and he gets unbelievable back pain. Why is this so? You know I think I will donate his body to science, tomorrow! This is a problem that desperately needs to be solved. Yes indeed, I will make the sacrifice and let my man be the pig, I mean guinea pig. Please lift this man up in prayer, pray for that back, pray for healing, cause if it don’t come I’m gonna kill him! I bet you are wondering if I had my medicine today or not—well what do you think! So what was the outcome of all of this? After Jerry received the “LOOK” , you know what I am talking about girls—the one that says “ I carried your baby for 9 long months which included nausea-vomiting-indigestion and stretch marks followed by 12 hours in labor with very little medication that was INSERTED directly down my spine, and then went home and began cooking your meals and washing your clothes and changing and feeding your baby and you are gonna complain about back pain” look. This look, to his credit, was immediately followed by “But you know honey, even with back pain I would LLLLOOOVVVEEEE to shop some more with you. Yes, baby, I’ll shop through the pain for you. As a matter of fact let me get you a hot cup of tea and a pillow.” So the long and short of it is that we did get most of our Christmas shopping done. All it took was the “look”. That ladies, is how you know you’ve done a good job training him. Now if I can only get him to wrap the gifts I’ll have it made. Much love from all of us, those with and without back pain!
