Do you want the good news first or the bad news first? November 11, 2008

Well of course you want the good news first. Everyone wants the good news first, that way the bad news doesn’t seem so bad.

So here is the good news…

WE GOT THE SIGNATURE!!!!!!!

This is a HUGE blessing and to God be the glory. Sergey told us AFTER we got the signature that this is the fastest he has ever gotten a separation of sibling document in 6 years of doing adoptions. Usually it takes somewhere between 2 WEEKS TO A MONTH to get the document and we were given ours in a week. Please know that we are fully aware that this is just God showing His power and Glory as a result of many, many prayers that you have laid at His feet. Even Sergey, who doesn’t go to church was amazed.  I told him that friends and family were praying for this document and he said “The prayers must have worked.” So I am trilled at the seeds that are being planted! May God receive all glory for each step that He has produced in this adoption! We serve a God that is truly great and can do the impossible! Having this document is such a blessing. Now we had to drive almost to Romania to get the document. Let me tell you we have been on the back side of Ukraine today. There are places that we went that no American has ever seen before. It was like stepping out on the moon for the first time. I felt like I should make a speech or something when we got out of the car, but Jerry didn’t think it was necessary. We first drove to Vasilivik to get the inspectors’ conclusion which is about a 45 minute drive out of the city. Then we offered to go to the city where the regional director’s office was located to pick up the last document rather than wait possibly a week for it to arrive in the mail. This town was 70 kilometers (see chemistry the metric system is useful) so we headed out. Jerry with the map in Russian and Sergey at the wheel. We drove to the end of the world and them backed up about 40 feet and there was the town. Look, I was beginning to get worried, we were riding past miles and miles of nothing but fields. I thought about leaving a bread crumb trail, but figured we might need the bread for food. I actually videoed some of the scenery because I thought I might could use it to help us find our way back to civilization. I looked up one time and there not a few miles away was a NUCLEAR REACTOR! Turns out the city where the regional director is located is the site of one of the largest nuclear facilities in Ukraine. I didn’t take pictures, I was afraid I might get held over and questioned. One office that we had to visit was located across the street from a RUSSIAN BATH HOUSE! Sergey had never been to this town either – trust me we were equally apprehensive! When we finally arrived Sergey rushed in to their version of a court house to get the paper, but they wanted to meet us and give us the paper themselves. See, everybody has heard of the Queen—I’m worldwide baby! The whole family headed in for a few questions and finally the document was placed in my hand. We got the document and headed back so quickly that Sergey got a ticket!! After we drove for hours we got back to Zap. And Sergey knew of a restaurant in town that served, are you ready for this, RIBS. That’s right pork ribs!! We just started salivating right there in the car! We ran, I mean literally ran, into the restaurant by the name of the Potato House and pushed everyone at the counter away and grabbed Sergey to order. Jerry ordered 4 rib plates with potato wedges and cokes. We sat down at a table. We waited and then the waitress arrived. Now let me preface my recollection of my first vision of the rib plate with this statement—the ribs were DELICOUS! Now back to the waitress. She arrived with my rib plate, all TWO of them. That’s right a rib plate has TWO, count them TWO ribs. Law, I would call that leftovers! We order an entire RACK for the three of us at home. I guess the pigs here in Ukraine are as skinny as the people. Two ribs, I use two ribs as toothpicks. So I got to thinking that maybe Jerry and Sergey had ordered a kids plate for Jon and shoved that plate off on him. Bless him, the TWO ribs were laying on a piece of lettuce, and he looked at it like a calf starring at a new gate. He has never seen a rib plate that consisted of two ribs and a leaf of lettuce. We waited for the next plate to arrive. Jerry glanced at me, I at him and then from around the corner another plate of, yes you got it, TWO ribs. Have you ever watched those Wild Kingdom Animal videos where the lion snags a zebra and then just rips into it and just slings flesh everywhere—well that’s what it looked like at our table. We were gnawing and slurping and picking and chewing to get every speck of flesh off those ribs that we could. People in Ukraine don’t eat with their fingers very much. Can I tell you we looked NOTHING like anyone from Ukraine. I felt it my Christian duty to show them just how to eat ribs and I only had TWO chances to do it. I felt that if I didn’t get BBQ sauce from earring to earring that I was doing the nation of Ukraine a bitter injustice. Can I tell you that I succeeded with flying colors. They will be wiping BBQ sauce from that booth for ages to come. I am not sure that they won’t erect a statue of me in the parking lot of the restaurant. I can see it now—me holding a rib in each hand with an eternal bowl of BBQ sauce at my feet and instead of people laying flowers at my feet they will just lay their used table napkins! Look here, we stripped those bones BARE! There wasn’t a shred of air left hanging on them. We might of got only two ribs, but let me tell you the Williams family did them justice. We left our plates happy, happy, happy! Then we came home and ate ice cream and popcorn.

Now for the bad news…

I am running out of hairspray and Lexapro. Please note they are listed in order of greatest need. I know what you are thinking how can hairspray even rank close to Lexapro. Now many people taking Lexapro don’t really want to let anyone know, I want to thank God for my 10mg of peace a day. Who in their right mind would be disappointed that they had the chance to take a medication that would help them as much as Lexapro has helped me over the years. Jerry gives a prayer of thanksgiving EVERYDAY for it. Now Timothy, from the Bible, had a stomach problem and Paul told him to take some wine for his problems. So here’s the way I see it, I can either take my 10 mg of Lexapro, or I can take wine—Jerry, please stop shaking and praying I’m gonna stay on the Lexapro. Law could you imagine ME taking WINE for what ails me! So, praise the Lord for the abilities he has given doctors to create medicines for our benefit. The way I figure it, if I do run out of Lexapro, there is always vodka—Just kidding mother! Yes, I know I am Baptist. I wouldn’t take the vodka—maybe the wine—I’m on a roll today—remember I’m running low on Lexapro. Now the hairspray. Well, for those that know me well, you know I am VERY particular about my hair. I use one and only one stylist. I use one and only one shampoo, I use one and only one conditioner and I have a very special preference when it comes to hairspray—I will only use Kenra or Big Sexy Hair. That’s it. Guess what—Ukraine has NEITHER. Give me a second, I’m hyperventilating. Look this is bad, very bad. You can’t have hair like mine without the proper spray. When I fix my hair I want it to STAY fixed. You see all these goofy commercials that advertise hairspray that is “soft to the touch” I don’t want that! I don’t want anybody touching my hair once it is fixed! For that matter I don’t want it to move unless a gale force hurricane should happen to blow through and then I want it to bounce back in place. These commercials show men just running their fingers through these women’s hair—I don’t want Jerry coming near my hair! It took my precious time to fix—don’t stick your grubby little hands in it! I want hairspray that you could repave a road with in case of a shortage of asphalt. They don’t sell that here! What they sell is glorified spray starch. I may have to make up my own version with some polyurethane and spray glue. Nan, if you are reading this, pray for me sister, pray hard, get on your knees, you KNOW how I feel. Law pray that like the pot of oil in the Bible that didn’t run out, pray that my can of Big Sexy Hairspray just has enough to get me to the states. Tomorrow we are going to the pharmacy because Sergey thinks that the medication I take is an over the counter drug here and not a problem to get. I am taking my can of hairspray to see if they can do a chemical analysis and duplicate it! I can tell you this if I can’t find a can of hairspray Jerry better hope that I can get Lexapro over the counter—WE are gonna need it! Love from us to you…