Today was very uneventful. Thankfully!! Jon and I got to sleep late! Oh, it was so very nice to just snuggle up in a warm bed and sleep until 11. Jerry, the early riser in the family, had gotten up and washed dishes so we could have some things to eat from. He spent the morning with the computer to himself looking up hunting in Ukraine. He has itch to go hunting. I can’t believe it – hunting! Well actually I can believe it. He loves hunting, but what he would hunt here in Ukraine I will never know. The license is only about 1 bazillion dollars, not to mention he has NO hunting supplies. No gun, no camo, no ammo, no deer pee, nothing! So far I haven’t located a hunting supply store so seems like he is out of luck. The most he will get to hunt here is for a nonsmoking section in a restaurant. When Jon and I finally woke up we found a TV station with Goosebumps, a favorite TV show of Jon’s. We snuggled in with a bowl of Nestle Coco Puffs and if you listened closely you could hear the English under the sound of the Russian. Jerry had decided to shop around for apartments. Sergey took him to two others. None of them are as large as the one we have now and none of them are available until the end of next week. We are weighing out the pros & cons of each and I, being the submissive wife that I am, have left the final decision up to Jerry. You know I have learned on this trip that the submission thing isn’t a bad deal. See if Jerry makes the wrong decision I get the chance to complain about his poor judgment. If he makes the right decision, well I get the chance to just enjoy the fruits of HIS labor—it’s a win-win situation. I plan on trying submission out again sometime. O.k. so back to the pros and cons of the three apartments…
Apartment #1 PROS: bathroom has a tub & a shower and that’s about it
Apartment #1 CONS: There are only 2 stove eyes. That’s it, no oven, only two eyes. (From my perspective this could be a pro in that I wouldn’t have to cook very much!), there is only 1 bed, there is only half a fridge
Apartment #2 PROS: location, location, location because it is 2 blocks from McDonald’s, this one has a lovely & VERY large sectional in the living room along with a satellite that picks up ENGLISH channels
Apartment #2 CONS: only one bedroom (Jerry says the boys can use the sectional), poorly lit at night, not available until the end of the week, less building security
Apartment #Now PROS: everything is clean (thanks to Jan and Jerry’s cleaning service), there is a full stove with oven, there is a washer complete with a Ukrainian Maytag man
Apartment #Now CONS: Satellite only picks up Ukrainian channels, presence of a UPO, fridge has only 2 settings—hot and frozen
Well there are the options as we see them, and I hope Jerry makes the correct choice! I haven’t figured out how to work around that whole “love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs” thing. I mean what is the point of being submissive if you can’t use it to remind your husband of his mistakes in decision making! Jerry did do something lovely for me today. During his outing with Sergey he purchased a brand spanking new “dryer” for me.
dryer
It is great (rolling of the eyes). He does the sweetest things, and splurges when it comes to making my life easier (smart-alecky tone). I can’t tell you how appreciative I am for the dryer (sarcasm). It is such a thoughtful and kind gift (more sarcasm). I don’t know how I will ever thank him enough (much more sarcasm). I plan to try to spend the rest of my life just repaying him for his love and attention (downright lie). Don’t feel jealous, I can’t bring the dryer home. It wouldn’t pass through customs. You know how those customs guys can be when it comes to expensive gifts that are so extravagant. My first plan is to wash all of Jerry’s 5000 underwear in the hottest water possible and omit the fabric softner and then dry them using the “dryer”. I am sure he will “feel” the love!
As for my other guy at home—he is really having a hard time. For those of you that know him you are aware that cleanliness is next to Jon-ness! When he was younger he could tell you exactly what restaurants and stores had the cleanest bathrooms! So this has been difficult to get accustomed to living in. Also he is homesick. We all are a little bit, but Jon more than others. We have watched Star Wars enough that we are quoting each episode. So tonight I decided that a home cooked meal might help wipe the blues away. We located a store that actually sold FAT BACK. Now if you don’t know what fat back is, then you are NOT from the south. Fat Back is the stuff that you use when you don’t care if your arteries clog and you want some real flavor. When we get to heaven every pot will have an endless supply of fat back! Here on Earth Fat Back does just what it says—it makes your back side fat. But considering the walking we have been doing I felt we had earned a slab. I have turned into a pretty good cook over 15 years of marriage and to be able to have a “home”cooked meal on the other side of the world is no small task. I didn’t know if you could find soul food in Ukraine, but low and behold I was able to pull a meal together with Southern class. I cooked up some stewed cabbage with fat back, some Paula Dean whole kernel corn (that is corn with about a stick and a half of butter melted in the pot), mashed taters (not potatoes, mashed potatoes are white and tasteless, taters are yellow from the butter and milk you add to give them flavor) and some pork chops. Did you hear me? PORK CHOPS, and law they were fine! You would have thought we haven’t had a thing to eat in weeks! We sucked that stuff down! We only have tea cups, small salad plates and small bowls so our table looked like a feast. There is literally nothing left we ate everything! And for dessert we had bananas topped with chocolate ice cream and caramel sauce. I wanted to get that fruit serving in. Talk about um, um, good! Right now both boys are just laid up fat and sassy like two foxes that just visited a hen house. I may have to roll them to the bed later. The meal did help with the homesick blues and tomorrow we are going to hit Jon’s schoolwork and that will keep him busy for awhile. Petya is missing us this weekend because we can’t go and see him, but he is so excited that we are here so that helps matters. We do miss everyone and we miss home. Well, I hear the washer has stopped and Jerry’s undies are finished (insert sinister laugh here). I better go and get the “dryer” started! Love and tomorrow cook you a big ole pot of cabbage or beans with a hunk or two of good ole fat back in them and think of us!
southern goodness
