That’s right – big Jon is 11. Where has the time gone and why did it replace itself with wrinkles. There are layers of skin that weren’t there 5 minutes ago. Eleven years, and tons of changes. I am so thankful that I like him after 11 years. You know some parents raise rotten kids that not even they like, but I like mine. He’s a great kid and I really do enjoy his personality. Irregardless of liking him I love him. Thought I would thow this in before you dialed DHS. Over 11 years we have had many a party, and the themes, well they are a changing. From dinosaurs to arcades, from super heros to sports themes. My baby is growing up and becoming a young man, and a wonderful one might I add. Can I brag for just a minute – not on me, I’ve done plenty to mess him up, but on God. God has just created in Jon’s heart a love for people. Jon is as much a part of this adoption journey as Jerry and myself, and perhaps even more so. His entire life is changing and he has no basis of what life was like before he arrived. He has been it – the center – the big enchilida – the focus – the all in all for 11 years. How hard is this going to be to give up? Thankfully God is giving him a brother that loves the fact that he has a younger brother. Jon has already started wanting to adopt again after we get Petya. I can’t believe it – I would be disowning my parents and locking myself in my room had I gone through what Jon did this summer and then the thought of another one. Only God, only God – the faith of a child is an amazing thing and I pray that when he is 111 that his faith is matured but still as a child – innocent, true and total. Did I mention that this birthday was an ARCADE birthday. Yes, we took Jon and 10 other boys to Tupelo to an arcade, please note that we also spent 1 hour in a van with said boys. Do you know what 10 eleven- year old boys can do in a van for 1 hour. Well, they managed to write an entire song, with hand motions, entitled “I ran over the Taco Bell dog” Please ask Landon Miles to give you the hispanic version. Also the aroma from the van is of the most unusual odor. After 5 nerve pills we arrived at the arcade and they had a BALL. It was great, they ate pizza, played games, won prizes and laughed and joked and just jung out together. I pray that these boys will always stay this kind to each other and that they won’t let the pressures of the world harm their friendships – there are times in life when a friend is closer than a brother – just ask David about Jonathan as compared to his other brothers. They really were precious and good to each other. Oh, how I hope that the influence of the world – you know to out do others so you stand out and the cost of jealousy and self preservation – doesn’t gain it grasp on them. I would rather that Jon never achieve anything grand as opposed to facing life alone without a friend. Jesus knew the importance of having friends and HUMBLED Himself in the last days of His life to washing their feet. Oh, what wonderful friendships we would have if we could only grasp this idea. Not that others are “better” than us, but that we love to the degree that we CHOOSE to serve them. I pray for these special boys and their unique friendships – all different, but friends through the same spirit. The night came to a close with everyone getting a plastic pirate sword and sticking me places that it hurts. We enjoyed a birthday “cookie cake” with blue icing (its amazing what colors you see later on) and loaded back into the vans to head home. Laughter prevailed along with “Hey, that hurts, stop poking me!” I was sad to see everyone go home, not sad enough mind you to bring them all back, but sad. It was fun and I would do it again…. in another 11 years!
2,592,000 seconds September 16, 2008
2,592,000 seconds – that’s how long before we leave for Ukraine as of today! I really can’t believe it. We have waited so very long for this and now were are as close as one month. HEHE – bet you didn’t know that 2,592,000 seconds are equal to a month, but it is true. I have this many seconds to prepare for the arrival of our new little (well medium) bundle of joy to come bouncing in. I think I am ready, well almost. There are a few last minute things to pick up and think about, but the biggies – the paperwork and forms and seals – well they seem to be under control now. Most would think we would be excited out of our gourds, but honestly it is very surreal. You know even with an older child coming into the family you do much of the same things as you do with a baby coming into the family. I have cleaned every square inch of my house AGAIN! The room has been decorated and the house “baby” proofed. What, you ask, would I have to do for the arrival of a 15 year old. Well, don’t forget that in Ukraine the TOILET PAPER IS NOT FLUSHED!!! That should say enough. Remember that his first language is Russian so basically it is like listening to babble when he speaks and yes, he does get frustrated and sometimes upset when mama doesn’t understand. Only this time he goes to his room and shuts the door. Quite a change from Jon crying inconsolably until the vacuum was turned on. Who knows maybe we can just run a vacuum outside his door when he gets home. My mama has started cooking and putting up food so that when we return we can just pull something out of the freezer. I guess the thing I am most looking forward to is not having to deliver!!! I have the stretch marks, due mostly to my eating chocolate when I get stressed over missing him, but I won’t have to face another shot down my spine to make the pain bearable enough to breath a few times. Its really strange, in a good way, because Petya has been “home” before, but this time its for real, not a practice, its the real deal. Am I scared – well of course, who wouldn’t be. I was scared when Jon was born. I kept feeling of him and reading every mothering manual I could get my hands on. I kept checking him for every remote possibility of problems and with Petya I will do the same only on an older scale. Yes, I am scared, but I am at peace. Isn’t that strange – I am still trying to grasp the whole of idea of this “peace that passes all understanding”. My understanding is telling me all the things to worry about and that can go wrong and that can happen, and there swimming in the same bowl is this peace that just washes over the fear and worry and I know I’m o.k. This peace points to the future when “all things will work to the good of those that love HIM!” Its not false hope, its not like I think I will win the sweepstakes, its more of a calming reassurance and an excited hope that I get to be a part of this entire process. It has been hard, but God has been faithful and without these past 93,312,000 seconds (for the math challenged that’s 3years worth of seconds) God has been amazing. The thing I look most forward to is the day when the seconds won’t matter anymore and I am there, not alone , but with my family. Praise be to the God of the seconds and second chances!
What’s that smell coming through the glass September 9, 2008
Many of you are not aware that Jon has a rare talent – he can smell anything! Now this can be a good talent in that anytime I am cooking he is acutely aware of anything that begins to burn. He is able to detect any perfume, any burning candle, any pleasant aroma that is in the air. Now this talent came in handy one day when a drunk driver ran off the road and hit a tree in our yard and his car caught fire. Jon calmly came to me and said “Mom, something is burning and it smells like wood.” I laughed it off and thought that he was being goofy until I passed by the living room window only to see two of our huge oaks buring. Praise God, the driver had gotten out before the fire began and the fire didn’t engulf our home because of Jon’s ability to smell. Now, while that moment in time was a blessing, there are other times when the ability to smell is a curse as was Friday night at our house. We had just returned to the house after a wonderful birthday meal with some friends of ours. We were full, the house was clean, the clothes were washed and all was great at our little red cabin in the woods. I had the grand idea that we would all get to bed before 10:00! What a joy to climb into my bed and just sleep late the next moring. Saturday was going to be Jon’s birthday part with our family and I was ahead of schedule and Saturday was going to be a “rest” day. It was then that it happened – Jon smelled something. He couldn’t put his finger on it but it was getting stronger, and stronger and that’s when I began to get a whiff of something. And then like a lightening bolt, or a tornado or a train plowing through our door the smell took over our house. What was it? It seems that our precious, big, old dog , affectionately called Puppy had trapped and brought to our front door one grade A, regulation, stripe down the back, SKUNK!!! Yes, right up to the house and when we didn’t see him at the back door he brought it right around to the front door. The skunk did his duty and sprayed everything between the two doors including the dog. The madness began. Our little dog that stays inside couldn’t locate exactly where the smell was coming from because by this point the smell had totally saturated the house so she went about barking madly at everything in her high-pitched yelp. Next Jon, the human nose, was overwhelmed with the disgusting odor and began to gag. Not even holding his nose helped and on top of that we had eaten mexican food for supper and, well gaging and mexican food do not mix. Jerry began to yell. It helped a lot. Yelling always seems to make things more pleasant and solve the problem. As soon as Jerry began to yell, why that smell just evaporated into the air – just kidding. No actually Puppy became confused because, being the hunting dog that he is, he felt that he should be praised for his capture. I mean really, this cat-looking creature had invaded Puppy’s yard and he had trapped it and caught it and brought it to his master. It was then, in the midst of the yelling (we’ll call it yelling in tongues because I really couldn’t tell want Jerry was saying – we needed and interpreter) was when Puppy realized that the skunk smelled foul. He promptly let go, the skunk ran off, and Puppy began to wail louder than Jerry’s yelling. So Jon’s is gagging, Pellet is yelping, Puppy is wailing, and Jerry is yelling. At this point I brust into laughter. Better laugh than cry. Jon decided that his mom was of no help, I mean here I am not even yelling at anything, so he grabbed the Febreeze and beging to fumigate the house. So at this point we have one dog covered in skunk-juice wailing, one dog running wild yelping at the atmosphere, one Daddy yelling and now pacing between the front and back door, one son gagging and spraying and one mom dobuled over laughing. I think the skunk ran away to tell all the other skunks about this crazy house he went to. When composure was regained, I thought 12 years had elasped only to realize that all of this occured in mere seconds. I summoned my mom super powers and began the job of clean up. To the internet…. I located a site that gave a recipe for “de-skunking” you pet and I mixed the vile concoction for Jerry to bathe Puppy in. He finally quit yelling began to talk to Puppy about the dangers of running with the wrong crowd. The fog of febreeze began to settle in the house and Jon’s gagging stopped, or slowed to a slow gag. Pellet became aware that Puppy was the source of the stentch and promptly sat down to mock him during his bath. I did what all good mothers do, I called my mom & prayed. Finally Jerry finished with Puppy and the scent was slightly better. We decided that we could sleep in the house for the night and to bed we went. The next morning we awoke to a less stinky situation. The party was a success even if Jerry did have a funny odor. Puppy we hope has learned a valuable lesson and Pellet has laryngetis so she can’t bark. We put SEVERAL pleasant smelling candles all over the house and Jon has stopped gagging and was excited about opening presents. Jerry has stopped yelling, but still stinks somewhat – not really sure if its the skunk or not?!? Me, well I have finally stopped laughing and bought a new can of Febreeze!
The Sound of Ducks & the Memories of Joy September 7, 2008
Have you every woke up and just felt like there was something you had to do that day or the day wouldn’t be right? Well I had a morning like that. Yesterday we celebrated Jon’s 11th birthday and it was great. He was so excited and loved all of his gifts. We now have a “Dance, Dance Revolution” game at our house and we all three fight over whose turn it is. Look, if someone comes and peeks in our living room window and sees me or Jerry dance-dancing the department of human services will be the next to arrive and collect Jon because I can testify that it is NOT a pretty sight, but it is fun. And to all those that think chunky people can’t dance – my score is the HIGHEST!!! Anyway back to today. I realized yesterday about 3 that I had not talked to Petya. We have been calling everyday just to say hi and we love you. At 3 it was far too late to call him, so basically I had in the back of my mind that we needed to call. So I awoke this morning with hives! Yes, hives – I do this when I have something on my mind. I showed Jerry and he said, “Are you missing him?” In 15 years he has learned to read the signs, so we called. Today all 3 of us got to talk to him and Petya sounded happy. He loves his family and we love him. He wanted to talk to everyone and just hear our voices. Jon’s face was priceless – there was a smile all over it. Not one of those fake “mama’s taking a picture” smile or one of those “I don’t know who this person is but I have to be nice smiles”. No it was a true smile of joy. I still remember the day Jon was born 11 years ago today. That is the first time I experienced joy to that degree and now to see Jon’s face as he talked with his brother – the joy it was there. What a blessing today to get to remember the joy I had and to see my most precious gift experiencing it as well. Now what about the ducks – well Petya says that I look like a cute baby duckling, actually that is his nickname for me and as we were talking I realized that he was walking along the river and feeding some ducks! God just reassured me that He was taking care of my baby and reminding him of his family and the mama that loves him very much. Was it coincidence that his mama called as he was thinking about her – no it was a God-cidence. We have been having a lot of those lately and can I be honest in saying that I LOVE them. It is so sustaining to know that God is so involved in my life and the lives of my kids. The morning finished with a good birthday spanking for Jon and can I tell you if he gets any bigger this mama may have to hire someone to hold him because he is getting strong and listening to Petya and the ducks. Look for God in those strange moments; I think He likes showing up there. I can tell you that there is a flock of ducks and a smiling birthday boy that had God written all over them.
Where are they going????? September 4, 2008
Last night was our first night back with the youth at OBC since August. We do this thing called Terrific Tuesdays and meet together as a church family in the sanctuaryto hear guest preachers. I love the preaching, but the truth be told I miss the youthand hanging out withthem. Jerry and I just count down the Tuesdays because we miss being upstairs and talking and goofing off and playing around with everyone and hanging out in t-shirts and jeans and just being together. Soooo, Wednesday nights are great to get back started. Well, last night we had some “chip & dip” fellowship time. You know baptists – any excuse to eat – but anyway, it was so great to be packed in our little space, munching on chips, joking with each other, hearing that loud roar of a 100 or so teenagers all hanging out and visiting. After the praise and preaching time Jerry was making announcements and mentioned that we will be leaving October 13thfor about a month to 6 weeks – you could hear it all over the room – “Where are they going?” We have been in this adoption thing so long that I forget that many don’t know what the steps are to finish this adoption. We actually have to travel to Ukraine and go through their court system to complete the adoption and then return to USA and complete the adoption here as well!! Two governments = Two adoptions. Crazy huh! We will be required to LIVE in Ukraine for several weeks while their government holds hearings, process documents, and declares us Petya’s parents. Here are the steps as far as I know them today…
1. We leave the US and travel to Ukraine to appear at a hearing in Kiev (the capitol).
2. October 16 the hearing will be held and a judge will look at our case and (hopefully) approve us to adopt a child from Ukraine.
3. We will be given a date to visit what would be like a national adoption center and look through a book at children available for adoption. Here we will ask for Petya’s information and be given permission to travel to his location and pursue him for adoption.
4. We travel by train to Zaporzhye and then by car to Laslyvik and begin to deal with the local government by having another hearing before a judge and we will be approved to adopt him.
5. Next comes getting new paperwork that verifies that we have adopted him.
6. Once the paperwork is completed at the local level we had back to Keiv to do much of the same thing on the national level.
7. At Keivthere will be doctor visits, a new birth certificate, a new visa, completed adoption paperwork – the whole sha-bang!
8. Finally we get on a plane to return home only to hit the ole paper trail again – SSN, re-adoption in USA, US citizenship (he will retain his dual citizenship to Ukraine) all the stuff that says he is ours.
Sound like a lot – it is, it has been for three years. We have been fingerprinted and stamped and approved so many times that I am surprised we don’t exist as our own country. We have been tested for diseases so many times that the nurses at Dr. Noyes’ office know us on a first name basis and where the best place to stick the needle is located on each arm. We have typed and had notarized everything about our life except how big the turtle is. It is truly amazing at what it takes to adopt a child – but then again God knows all about that – we have been adopted into His family at a very high cost. Jesus knows exactly what appearing before a court is like and what it means to give up so much to make us His own. So while we complain about the steps that we must take – Jesus was right the burden that we have is light. On Monday we go before the FBI again and get fingerprinted again and get approved again but eventually we will appear before somebody one last time and Petya will legally be declared ours. All I can say is – bring in the judge & I’ll send ya a post card from Ukraine!
What’s your favorite…? September 3, 2008
Its a game that I play with Jon when we are driving down the road. I start out with “What’s your favorite… flavor of ice cream?” and just contiue to let the questions pour. Then we swap and Jon begins to ask me tons of questions. We get ticlked at some of the answers, we reflect on others and some – well we just gross each other out. The point is that we are talking and thinking and learning about each other and its fun. Sometimes in life you need some fun moments. In the wake of Petya returning to Ukraine & moving to a new school I thought it would do me some good to write about some of the favorite things from the summer and things I look forward to again so here goes…
What’s your favorite…
(1) thing to cook for the boys? Jon LOVES hot dogs that are grilled and then put in a bun with mustard and wrapped in foil (not plastic – very specific) and put in the fridge to eat the next day – yeah, strange! Petya will eat mashed potatoes until he pops – I’m sure the stick of butter and cup of milk have nothing to do with it. Paula Dean – heart yo heart out!
(2) sound coming from the family room? Hearing them wrestling and speaking both English and Russian at the same time – I miss the sound of Petya saying “Nuo, nuo Jon, you nuo pinching!” and then hearing Jon say “Waaaallll, yew can’t bite me then now can ya” Its like watching Designing Women on a Russian TV station.
(3) sound coming from the boys bedrooms? Hearing Jon doing EVERY Star Wars sound from EVERY movie and him knowing WHICH movie they came from – really this kid sounds totally real. Ask him sometime he LOVES to make the sounds. From Petya’s room we heard the russian version of the praise music we downloaded on his Emma Pea tree player (MP3 english translation). Mandisa’s song “Only the World” was his favorite and according to him it goes something like this… ahem…”been a ha one, been a tau one, hmmmmmmmm, hmmmmmm, hmmmmmm on da wolr lif en”
(4) thing about Jerry? Not having to translate!!!! I have nightmares of hearing “Hey Jan, what’s he saying?” Having one deaf ear doesn’t lend itself to learning a new language.
(5) thing about the pets now? We have bilingual pets – how many of your pets know commands in TWO languages. Just the other day Pellet (my precious yorkie) was running outside when I yelled “Pellet nyet!” She stopped – yes she did! I’m thinking of going on Oprah but I’m afraid she will want me to do something strage with water and my nasal cavity or read some book that has recently transformed her life – by the way how many times has she been transformed anyway…
(6) things about the driveway? You might think this one strage, but I love pulling into my driveway and seeing TWO of everything – bikes, scooters, balls – the more the happier. Now if I can just convince Jerry (hehehehe)
Strange what we miss, the smell of his cologne, the laughter than Jon had only when he and Petya were playing, the constant touch of another person, the pineapple juice in the fridge, the business of the house. All of these things and more. There are somethings God has given back for a time that are precious – my alone time with Jon, hearing Jon singing, being able to complete a conversation with Jon, enjoying the restfulness of Jon’s personality. I pray that when we are all back together I can blend these two worlds – the wild with the gentle. I love being a mom!
Well its about high time… September 1, 2008
I know, I know – I haven’t blogged in a few days, well o.k. a few weeks. But honestly time just slipped by me. I have soooo much to write about. Things got so busy and full and wonderful that I just couldn’t sit down. Also having two boys that REALLY love their mom and want her UNDIVIDED attention makes it hard to type with only about 1 and a half fingers free. Things are calmer now, more lonely, but calmer and so now I have time to blog a little bit. O.k. so where do I start – Well I think the best place to start is to let eveyone know what is going on today and then we will back track. This will be good for me so that the time we are apart rolls by faster. Here goes…
August 20th – Petya had to go back to Ukraine until we go in October to complete the adoption. More news on this event at 9:00.
August the last Monday – We get a text message that Petya is being forced to LEAVE the orphanage and being moved to a trade school. He will be on his own at the age of 15, no supervision, he will have to cook his own supper, he will not be given any supplies and Katya is going with him. At this point we got the ole prayer chain going again. This is no longer a matter of governments, or rules, or common practice – this is my son, alone, on the other side of the world and only our God and Father of the (temporarily) Fatherless and Lord of the Universe is large enough and loving enough and powerful enough to help us and reach over the other side of this planet and care for a lonely 15 year old boy that is being lost to govermental regulations.
August the today – I know you can’t tell when I stop typing, but there has been a lull of the keyboard for about 20 minutes now because I was on the phone with Petya and having a satan stomp down party. Our God is so very, very, very loving and attentive and caring of those the world has given up on. It seems that God did in fact hear our prayers. Petya has not missed a single meal, even though he had no cooking supplies or food and he has not had a single thing stolen from him since he arrived at the trade school. There is a lady there that has been trying to help him and is very loving and kind and according to Yana is trustworthy. I totally trust Yana’s discernement of this lady and I am so thankful that Petya is being watched over. Pray for us as we travel in October that we can share the love of Jesus with her. God is putting so many people in our paths from cab drivers to trade school workers. Yana took Petya shopping today and got the supplies he needed and he did a very good job shopping and saving his money – hey he is a tightwad like his dad. Anyway when I called he was cooking – guess what – potatoes and eggs!!! That boy is going to turn into a potato with feathers. Praise the Lord that I taught him how to cook some things this summer!! Oh, God is soooo much in control even before we know its seems out of control. I can see how God is defeating satan before he reaches every turn. What awesome power our Eternal God has in our lives! Petya is in good spirits but misses everyone so very much. He mentioned many by name and said to tell you hello and that he misses you and loves you – Trey, Emily, Mary Fran’s Mama (hehe Sherri), Josh, Joe, Andrew, and their sister’s name that he can’t remember or pronounce, Seff (Seth), Kollin & Kaylee (my neice and nephew) and many others that the names were a blend of russian and english and we just said o.k. That boy knows where his bread is buttered and he is loved. Church, what an awesome job we have to love others and to reach out to them and have them see where love abounds. It is amazing to me that a child that is totally unloved by the world can just come into a church a few times and KNOW that love abounds there. We have a blessed calling church family – to love the fatherless and the widow – its the religion that God views as undefiled and true – to love the ones that have no one else to love them – thats whats an orphan and widow are – they are those around us that have no one to love them. What a calling, what an opportunity, what a blessing. Youth, there are so many in your schools that are for the most part emotional orphans. Mama and Daddy don’t care for them and you have the chance everyday, as I do, to see them through the eyes of Jesus and reach out of your group of friends and reach through to them and love them as Jesus would. Not because they possess any special talent, or ability, or position, or reason – just because they are God’s creation and He is giving us the OPPORTUNITY to love them. Its not a job, its not only a calling, its not a good thing to do if you have time, its not giving something back to Jesus, its not something that saved people do, it IS an OPPORTUNITY and if you miss it you are missing HUGE blessings that only God has to give. It is so much more wonderful than being in a small group of friends that are seperated from the world – when you realize that God is calling us and enabling us to be be more than little capsules of friends that just roll through this life and never reach out past our comfort zones, that He is allowing us the opportunity to expreience love in ways we never dreamed imaginable, it is so overwhelming and beautiful and fulfilling that you can’t help but desire to be a part of it. Ask God this week to show you someone – and unloved – to extend the love of God to and reach and then get out and do it. Is it worthwhile – just ask that 15 year old on the other side of the world cooking potatoes and singing and praying and practicing his NEW name – Jacob Petya Williams!!
