What’s the News? July 21, 2008

So sorry for the delay in posting, but life is REALLY busy with two boys!  I have so much to tell and so many funny stories, I hope I can get it all in.  Let’s rewind a few days and get caught up. 

Last Thursday & Friday…

We had swim day, and it was a hoot.  I’ve posted some pictures just to show you how fun everything was.  I blogged about this earlier, so I hope you enjoy the photos. 

We went to Nana’s and I’ve blogged about this, but I have also included as the last few pictures  the pictures that Petya took when he realized the Mississippi was good.  Something I didn’t blog was that an orphanage worker had told him that Mississippi was a bad place to live because we had hurricanes.  I am sure word of Katrina has gotten overseas and that is the storm she was referring to occurring.  I had the hardest time trying to convince Petya over the phone during one of our few calls to him in Ukraine that Mississippi was a good place to live and very safe.  What I lacked in assuring words God more than made up for in sheer beauty.  Petya took one look at those rolling Mississippi hills and realized it was good.  It reminds me of when God looked and creation and was pleased.  God’s word is so true that even the Earth screams out His glory and name.  Anyway enjoy the pics of the “good Mississippi”…

Look its Groucho!

This is his best talent!

CANNON BALL!

Sliding in

Dancing beauty ?!?

Can you hear the Jaws theme song?

Hey ya’ll its me Ernest T. and my buddy!

Ah, the lazy life.

Swimming monkey!

Flipping monkey!

1-2-3-4 monkey!

Let’s do the Twist

white Erkel!

Chicken fight!

Jon playing America’s Funniest Home Videos

The Three Amigos

Look Mom!

Good Mississippi!

Last Saturday…

We headed to the beach, well sort of.  Bro. Jim and Carol Pinkston’s oldest son, Jon married Lindsey Massengil earlier this summer in a beautiful beach-side wedding in Flordia.  To celebrate the wedding back home a reception was held at our church for them.  We had planned on going to the wedding, but with the kids arriving the following week we could not make the trip so I was so thrilled when they planned a reception at the church and it was so sweet, they even wore their wedding attire down to the wedding dress and NO shoes.  Did you hear me – NO SHOES!!!  It was WONDERFUL, these people are truly after my own heart.  Anyone that knows me well knows that I RARELY wear shoes  – I HATE them, well unless they are comfortable flip-flops (please note the comfortable portion).  Shoes are worse than tight clothes – they just pinch and squeeze your toes together and the comfortable ones are usually ugly.  Enough of that soapbox – back to the reception.  I had been asked to see if I could build a sandcastle for the reception and I was thrilled.  Decorating is my secret passion.  Give me some duct tape, hot glue, Elmer’s glue and caulk and I can build anything from a waterfall to a sandcastle.  So Saturday we went to the church to put up the sandcastle.  Petya is beginning to really love being at church and with our church family.  Everyday he asks if he can go to church.  Now he doesn’t understand the language, but he does the love!  Everyone has been so sweet to him and so understanding – really he is in a 15 year old body with an 8 or 9 year old personality.  His culture is so different and as a result he is different, but everyone has just taken that in stride and loved on him even with his quirks.  He had a good time just being there and interacting.  See in the orphanage they are taught that because they are orphans they are substandard.  They have a VERY hard time trusting that people really do see them as a something more than an orphan.  I watch him often times pull away when people are trying to shake hands with him and he is just watching to see if they will stick around and how they will treat him and everytime those people have been patient and waited and just reached out and grabbed him and hugged him up – not even his ignoring them has pushed them away.  As a result he is learning that he has people here that love him even if he WAS and orphan.  I don’t think that our church family is realizing what a huge role they are playing in his life just by being kind and giving him a chance – they are just living out what we are all called to do - love people – orphans, widows, widowers – all people no matter what tag society has placed on them.  Anyway the sandcastle was erected and the fellowship hall looked like a beach-side getaway and most everything was ready for Sunday – except my ironing!!!

Oh, by the way, Petya also found out the situation with Katya.  We had a translator explain everything to him.  We wanted to upfront and honest.  Remember - Jesus said that truth sets us free!!  So we felt that the truth was the best way.  As she told him the situation he was not surprised at Katya’s actions, but was awe struck that she didn’t want to be in our family.  Petya’s response – “Whatever, but I WANT to be in our family, that’s her problem.  Please tell the adoption agent to do the paperwork for me to come!”  Then he ended the conversation with, “Me American, no Ukraine, me FAMILY!”  I think that said it all. 

Last Sunday…

We got up early, early, early at 8:30 (remember I’m on summer vacation) and all got dressed together and headed out to church together!!  I can’t tell you how my heart was so happy.  It felt so good to be heading down the highway with Mandisa blaring out the  speakers and pull into church together.  I was prouder than a mother hen with her new chicks.  I don’t know what it is, but my two boys were the most handsome boys in church.  Don’t argue – I’m the QUEEN of everything, and I even have a vase to prove it thanks to the Harbor boys!  They were the most handsome, I know it, now there were other “pretty” children there, but none quite like my two (please no hate comments here – remember that opinions are like bellybuttons – we all got one hehehe).  Anyway, Petya was a bit taken back by the crowd of teenagers.  He is unusually shy around other teens.  I think he feels overwhelmed.  It will take time and it will take out youth continuing to reach out to him and try to pull him in.  He needs for others to engage him, he will not reach out to try and meet people.  I wouldn’t either if I had grown up in an Ukrainian orphanage, didn’t speak the language, was not accustomed to the cultural norms, was the only one of my “kind”, had never been to church, had never eaten the food, had never, well, never been a part of anything remotely like what is happening in his life.  He just continues to need encouragement from the guys especially.  Now the girls, well they are VERY encouraging – VERY!!!  Told ya he was cute.  Anyway, church went great – he sat with Papa and I got to sing in the choir, and Jon got to have a normal Sunday and all was great.  That afternoon I selfishly wanted to go the reception with just my boyfriend – Jerry!  I don’t know but there is something about weddings and receptions that just help me to relive ours and it is sweet and special.  So my mom took the boys home after lunch and Jerry and I headed back to the church for the reception.  Can I just be honest and tell you it was a MUCH needed break!  I hadn’t realized how little Jerry and I had talked lately, or how little time we have spent together.  The reception was wonderful just to see all the happy faces – it was just precious.  I love to celebrate new beginnings.  Jon and Lindsey did my favorite thing – they were barefoot!  In honor of them I too went barefoot!  They cut the cake and drank the punch and I just remembered our wedding.  It was good for us to have that time together.  Of course when we got home Jerry was just so tired from sitting and drinking punch that he had to have a nap and my lovely, calm afternoon was turned into watching wrestling matches in the living room, refereeing a chess and checkers match with both Ukraine and American rules ( I need to borrow a ref’s uniform from Mr. Truman), fixing bowls of noodles, practicing newly learned English words and trying to explain why Jon didn’t like being poked in the belly button!  We decided that two Sunday services were too much for Petya – he did good, but I don’t want to push him.  He loves church and I don’t want to overwhelm him.  It is really difficult when you can’t understand a single thing that is going on.  So we stayed home and let Petya run off some energy! 

Now that leads me up to today…

I am just washing clothes for Jon to pack to go to Kid’s Kamp – he is so excited.  Petya will be staying at home and Jon and Jerry will be heading out to camp.  Jon has the greatest buddies in the world and he really likes being at camp with the guys.  Jon has done so great.  It has been hard with all the changes happening in just a few weeks.  He is learning how to be a great brother and how to tell us when he has had enough.  His joy is returning and he is learning that we are the parents and he can relax.  Jon is a kid that likes things to run normally – he enjoys the laid back life – and our life had been anything but normal.  God has been faithful to every prayer we have asked for Jon.   Petya is playing a video game and now I am hearing “Jon, come here pleazzzze.”  I’ve spent long enough here, the dryer has stopped and I need to engage in life and not memories at this moment.  I will try to do better and post daily, or semi-daily.  Gotta go, they are pillow fighting, with, oh my word – TWO BIG BEAN BAGS…

Nana’s house and diving board flips July 17, 2008

Sorry I haven’t posted for a day or two.  We have really been busy trying to get everything in.  We have been having so much fun at times and at other times its been hard and at other times we have laughed and at other times we have cried – its like being on a bilingual soap opera!!!  Yesterday was our first visit to Nana’s house.  Nana is the queen’s mother.  She is a real Nana – we are talking grandmother superior.  She is fantastic except for the part where she pampers and spoils Jerry more than she does me.  That’s o.k. because I am reminded and frequently remind her taht I will be picking out her nursing home!!!  Anyway, she was doing her usual of getting EVERY type of food together that the kids like to eat and getting her house ready and getting herself ready.  Oh, it was worry, worry, worry!  She wanted everything to be perfect.  I tried to remind her that Petya was from an ORPHANAGE – everything to him is like the Hilton!!  We loaded up and headed out to Pine Grove – It is exactly 1 mile from nowhere!  Doesn’t even have its own post office – we borrowed mailmen from the next town which was Dumas.  We did also share a water tower.  On this side of the tower (you gotta be from the south to know where “this side” is located) the name Pine Grove was painted and on the other side we had painted Dumas.  Just in case anyone forgot where they were.  Anyway we headed about 1 hour into the hills and hollers of backwoods Mississippi.  I could see it in Petya’s eyes – This american is taking me off to a work farm where no one will ever find me!!  At first he was so excited, then the farther we got the more concerned he looked – he kept asking “we go to Nana’s yes?”  Finally we arrived and let me tell you Nana had it all from chocolate chip cookies to fruit of every kind.  He walked right in like he owned the place and went and picked out which bedroom he wanted, yes he did!  Jon did his normal at Nana’s and Petya went to his room and took a nap!!!  That drive wore him out.  Later my neice and nephew dropped by and they were just so sweet to him.  Kaylee and Kollin are both under 5 years old.  Petya just watched them intently.  He doesn’t really get to be around any little ones and he would just look at me and say “Mama, Kollin is melinki (small)”  It was like he had never really seen a small child.  Oh, and he wanted Kollin to sit with im so badly.  Today Petya is still talking about Kollin.  O.k. so here is the cute story of the day.  Kollin was running and fell – what do we do when that happens – we yank them up and kiss them!  When I did that Petya was just in awe.  He looked at me like I had some magical powers of healing when Kollin stopped crying after his ouchy got sugar from Aunt Jan Jan.  Petya, was wowed!!!  I forget all the things he has never seen or the things he has never experienced.  He has so very much to catch up on .  The day ended with some hamburgers and his favorite pickles and off to home we went.  At one point he made me stop the car so he could take a picture of the hills of my hometown.  I really had taken for granted how beautiful they really are especially with the sun setting into them.  We took several pictures and he ended by saying “Mama Mississippi good!!”  We are VERY blessed to live in this part of the US.  I know, I know, there are tons of problems – but do we ever look at all that is wonderful, do we ever look at all the things that other countries don’t have.  All you need to do is to take a mission trip abroad and you will have a new appreciation for MIssissippi!  Both boys were worn out by the time we got home and the beds beckoned.  The next day was Papa and sons morning (translated – mama is about to have a nervous breakdown and needs a few minutes to take a shower without a question about what something is or if I will play video games or what’s for the next meal) and the boys went to breakfast together.  God bless Jack’s!  Petya had pancake tacos as we call them.  He takes a pancake, folds it like a taco and fills it with jelly.  Then there is Jon, whose plate is not visible for all the syrup dripping off of it.  Jerry said for some reason everyone kept staring at them.  Now he knows how I feel – I’m waiting for the right opportunity to give someone my autograph and tell them I won American Idol or something.  It was good for the boys to be together – it is good for Jerry to answer a few of the 1000 questions asked daily.  Mama got a much needed break and met the boys for lunch – where you ask.  Ah, we chose the most far out place we could – CHINA PALACE!!!  Yes, we took a Ukrainian, non-English speaking, never seen anything but white people boy to a CHINESE resturant with spanish waiters!!  The most priceless time was when our waitor (chinese) stopped at the table to ask for drinks and when he walked away Petya pulled both eyes to the side and looked at me and said, “Mom what this is?”  How do ya answer?  I just laughed!! He did love the food – especially the beef pepper steak and the “reeeece” (rice).  Oh, he loved the reeeece, it was very good, that reeeeece those chinese people really know how to make reeeeece.  I am probably going to make reeeeece tomorrow!  He liked the chicken, the lo mein and something else he picked up.  After burping LOUDLY three or four times at the resturant (mental note – work on table manners!) we headed out to swim with some friends.  Ya’ll that pool was just the funniest thing with all the kids in it trying to speak to Petya in English and him speaking in Russian.  Sherry Robbins and her kids were there and A.J., bless him, came up to me and asked, “why are ya’ll speaking spanish?”  I died laughing.  Petya did great all things considered.  We had about three moments that he didn’t listen to me, but on the third time when Mama got up and came over and got the index finger going – he listened!  The ole index finger is known worldwide.  I believe God gives it to mothers only.  See he was going off the diving board by flipping and grabbing the end of the board and doing a hand stand before he FLIPPED off – he is like a monkey!! Please pray for Jon it is so hard for me to expect him to mind the first time and for me to be teaching his OLDER brother to mind at least by the third time.  He feel cheated and over disciplined.  We explained when we got home that even though Petya was older, he was still like a toddler when it came to minding.  He has no knowledge of minding parents – he has never had any to mind.  He doesn’t know that when Mama and Daddy tell you something you must do it.  Along with teh language barrier, it is hard to express the need to follow your parents orders.  I will post some pics tomorrow of all of them flipping, splashing, jumping, sliding, and putting on a comedy show.  Well I am tired and everyone is in the bed but ME!  That is always how it goes isn’t it ladies.  Well more on the Williams news tomorrow.  Who knows maybe we will scale a mountain, but I think we will probably just hang out at the house.  There is enough going on here for an entire TV mini-series!

Jan

A day at the pool July 15, 2008

Today was priceless – we went to the pool!  I know, you are asking what is so great about going to a pool – it really depends upon how many times you have ever gone!  It was the first day that we had a normal day.  Can I tell you that both my boys are really doing great and are well behaved.  This morning I felt the need to spend some time in the bed.  I felt sure that I was to stay in the bed until oh, about 10 am and I did.  As a matter of fact I was the first one up, well except Jerry who went to work for his first normal day in a week.  You know there is just something about sleeping late and turning off the alarm clock that is just wonderful!  For some reason the sheets just feel better!  Anyway, we ate breakfast around 11 and got ready to go to the pool which means loading up the food, towels & sunscreen and heading out.  It is really hard for Petya to remember to put on the ole seatbelt.  In Ukraine they don’t wear them.  They think it makes matters worse to be strapped down to a car made practically of aluminum foil hurdeling through the air at speeds in excess of 65 miles per hour – better to be slung out onto the pavement and have your hide scratched clean off I guess.  By the way, their traffic mortality rate is 6000 times ours in the US!!  So…putting on a seatbelt is a bit hard to remember.  We got to the pool and bless their hearts Maria Wilson and Tina Crigger were there with Jon’s buddies.  It was really good for him to be with Kyle, Will, Olivia and Briley.  THey perked his spirits up.  Its been hard not to be able to just do what he wants.  He’s been the only one for 10 years, and Petya is somewhat dependent upon him.  Today his friends were a breath of fresh air.  They were also very understanding of Petya and welcomed him right in.  It is very strange, he is 15 but in many ways acts much younger.  Petya is constantly calling to me to watch him do something, but I have to remember he has NEVER had a mama to watch anything he has ever done.  No one has watched him play soccer, no one watched his first work at school, no one made sure his homework was correct, no one watched him pull his first tooth, no one bandaged his ouches and no one was even there when he fell.  He has not been celebrated in the least and no one has really cared what he did much less want to watch him.  He is making up for lost time.  I was really amazed at how he enjoyed the younger children.  I am so thankful that the other mamas didn’t think him odd or strange.  After the russian began to fly, most everyone knew he weren’t from around these parts!  Everyone began to ask questions and soon I felt that most people knew the basic story.  He was gentle with everyone, although a few times he was somewhat rougher.  In the orphanage they are as tough as corn cobs – they must be to surrvive!  But never did he get mean and often wanted to do things that the younger children liked.  He likes to be giving happiness to others.  Oh, let me tell you once he accidently hit Jon in the mouth as Jon was trying to flip him off the float.  Petya jumped into the water to tell Jon he was sorry and tried to KISS the boo-boo!  Jon was like – “No, man we don’t do that in front of my friends!”  I died laughing, but bless him he is trying.  After the pool we went to get Dad and get some supper.  He is very worried about Dad during the day – I would be too if I had the memories he has of his father.  So, frequently we drop by on Dad just to check him out!  His english is getting fantastic.  He speaks more at home than in public.  Today driving down the road he saw a car and said, “Mom, what is this car?”  I was like WOW – that was great!  His first word was macaroni and now we have his first sentence.  He is learning to open up and laugh, and who couldn’t wiht Jon in the house.  Now I know most of you are thinking that Jon is this quiet, shy, almost recluse child, and we do joke and call him Oatmeal, but at home and with his close friends he is a riot!  Get Jon, Josh and Joe Harbor together and you will wet your pants at some of the things they do.  Jon is feeling more comfortable around Petya and tonight he played a symphony using only his arm pits.  Petya was laughing so hard he fell on the floor!  He tried to do it too, but there ain’t enough meat on his bones to get one little “flerbt” out much less a song.  Jon on the other hand has been eating my cooking and he can let it rip.  You will be glad to know that you can’t make those sounds under you knees – we know because they tried it – just doesn’t work.  However if you cup your belly just right and your brother gets a big enough glup of air you can make a noise that will echo!  As if swimming weren’t enough, the boys and Jerry went on a bike ride down by the water way.  Needless to say they were worn out by the end of the evening.  Actually they were asking to go to bed.  They are snug as bugs in rugs.  Petya is finally stretching out the full length of the bed.  He is so used to sleeping in smaller bed in the orphanage.  Another thing that I have noticed is that we really get stared at where ever we go.  I am sure it is my ravishing beauty, by Jerry didn’t seem to agree.  He will after he tries to go to bed tonight.  I think I may get a t-shirt that says “For a $5 I’ll tell ya what he is calling you!”  Really I want people to ask I want them to know what God is doing and any mama will be more than happy to brag on their kiddos.  It is difficult not to stare and watch this young man as he is experiencing for the first time some many things we take completely for granted.  It is almost like watching a child that has been in  only one room his entire life and watching him see the outside for the very first time.  What adventure awaits tomorrow – going to Nana’s house.  Law, he may think I am taking him off to some work farm by the time we get to Pine Grove!  We are working on being obedient the first time and not begging.  Its hard – he’s done it for a life time.  He is also a charmer and I am really needing wisdom in not being charmed into things.  Tonight for the first time he sat down and did something by himself and asked me to come and watch.  He is de-stressing and feeling more comfortable and relaxed.  Maybe one day he will sit through and entire TV show.  Until then we will wait and take turns with him and try to remember that there are 15 years worth of needs that are crying out to be met.  If you are at the pool and you hear someone say “Mama, Mama look pleazzze!”  I would bet it will be us!

Jan

Endings and Beginnings July 14, 2008

My mind is really spinning trying to even write about our ending…

There are so many things that I want to say and I lack the words to express them.  There has been an ending to part of our journey.  Katya has made her intentions to harm us clear to the guardian and she will be returning to Ukarine to attend a technical school.  Our precious pastor reminded us that Jesus was well aware of our feelings as he wept over Jerusalem knowing they would reject Him.  I have often wondered why Jesus just didn’t throw His hands up in disgust; now I have a different view point – it was all about love.  We still love Katya and would give anything to have her, however, she has chosen a different path.  We are not throwing our hands up in disgust, we are weeping over the loss.  This is our ending with her.  We have commited to God her future.  We are trusting that a seed was planted and that God will produce the growth in His time.  We are totally at peace with the fact that we have done all we could do and that God is pleased with our efforts and obedience.  Many have asked why we even brought her here knowing the possibility of difficulties.  To that all we can answer is that we were being obedient to God’s direction.  Perhaps there was something that she expreienced here that will blossom as time goes on.  God doesn’t owe us any explainations, but in His grace He has given us peace and that is more precious than reasons. 

Now we embrace the moments ahead and as a workman to the plow we took forward to what is to come with anticipation of God’s grace to be shown and for His glory to be revealed in our family. 

My mind is really spinning to write about our beginnings…

Today was the first day that Petya went to church with us, or to a protestant church for that matter.  He told us one time that the kids from the orphanage went to church for lunch but all they got was some bread and juice (communion) hehehehe.  I think his first reaction said it all.  As the choir stood to sing and the music swelled and the voices were raised together and Bro. Jim stood almost on one foot Petya looked at me and said,”Vow, VOW – oie!”  A smile a mile wide spread across that face and I knew that God had transcended the language barrier and moved in his heart.  He couldn’t figure out all the praying and why Bro. Randy never stood still.  He was well behaved, which for a child raised in an orhphanage to sit still and quiet for an hour while they don’t understand the language, well it is a near miracle.  Only twice did he want to know when he could go to eat!  He did lay his head down on my shoulder a few times, but please remember that we had no sleep last night because the boys were both awakened about every 30 minutes from 10 until this morning.  Besides he hasn’t had a mama’s shoulder for 15 years.  I think he is due a little attention.    He was so proud of his news clothes and would only let Papa help him get ready.  Now many of you know that Jerry is well, not the most style conscience.  It has only been in the past few years that he has veered into the world of colors other than red and blue.  All things considered Jerry did good helping him pick out his ensemble.  All of this is so new for Petya, never has he had more that one set of clothes.  He keeps going into his closet and counting his shirts.  A playful side is coming out.  He did really great meeting new people and just interacting.  He is a character and loves to joke as Trey Wayne knows when he wouldn’t release his hand at lunch today.  One thing did puzzle us at lunch; why were the Waynes at Ryan’s and not China Palace – strange!  Anyway, he was overwhelmed with the love he received this morning from our youth.  Can I just break away from this broadcast to tell you how precious our youth group is to me.  I have been absent from a few meetings to get things prepared for the visit and it was so wonderful to know that I had been missed and to know that you guys and gals love me.  It was so reassuring this morning to know you love me and you took to the time to check on me – I love you so much and I have really been missing you!  Petya has decided that we have some really cute girls and he wanted to make sure that none of them were in his family!!!  I wonder what he has heard about Mississippi?  From what I saw I am almost positive that you girls thought he was pretty cute himself, and he is, and he is not dating until he can speak English!  For those of you that gave him your numbers, he doesn’t know how to use the phone – so there   You guys were so great too.  It is very common for orphanage children to feel inferior to others that are not orphans,  acutally they are taught they should feel that way.  You guys were just so relaxed and outgoing and came to him and really made him feel like and equal.  I could tell as the time went on and he began to look you in the face rather than at your shoes.  He was recognizing he had a place.  Thank you!  Now back to our regularly scheduled blog…

Somethings we need to work on…

1.  When mama is on the phone there really is someone at the other end and you can wait until she is finished to tell her you have found a piece of lint on your shorts.

2.  There are two boys that need attention and talking louder in two languages only confusses mama and no one gets heard.

3.  When you stick your fingers in each other’s ribs it hurts.

4.  When you stick your fingers in each other’s mouth it hurts.

5.  When daddy wrestles with you he will always win and then go into the bathroom to recoup.

6.  Three bags of popcorn a day are too much.

7.  Begging with this mama will get you nowhere really fast, in fact it will take you back a peg or two.

8.  What mama and daddy say is obeyed the first time – yeah right, but with God all things are possible!

9.  Palmolive DISH washing liquid is not the same as Palmolive DISHWASHER liquid, but the bubbles are nice.

10.  “I’m sorry.” can often mend hurt feelings and hurt ribs and get you out of trouble - especially when you are able to roll the “r” sound off of your tongue with an accent.

Some praises about Jon…

1.  He is totally patient even when his prized Star Wars toys are held above his head.

2.  He is ever watchful and even rides his bike behind the lawn mower to watch for accidents.

3.  He is understanding even when his mama is having to listen to Russian she can’t understand and try to figure it out.

4.  He is brave and protected his family before himself.

5.  He is faithful and was the first to trust God with Katya’s life.

6.  He is a genious in that he can now speak Ringlish, or at least put on a good front that he totally understands what Petya is saying.

7.  He is tireless after hours of doing things he really doesn’t want to do in the first place – like play soccer video games over and over and over…

8.  He is helpful and show Petya everything he needs to do, well except for showering and he still can’t figure out where all the water is coming from.

9.  He is a leader and holds Petya accountable when he doesn’t obey.  Jon has gone out of his way to obey us the first time and help Petya see that is how you do it.

10.  He is just a joy and the while there are hard adjustments he is using God’s help to get him through. 

Its late, the house is quiet, all the boys are asleep and peace once again is reigning in our home.  God has been good and faithful and our shield.  I am going to get a good night’s sleep in enjoy the chaos tomorrow as we attempt swimming at Shiloh Ridge. 

Love never once left the house,
Jan

 

It is fun, it is an adventure, it is work, it is a beginning.  I can’t imagine what God must have thought after the days of creation and that beginning – I can’t even figure out how to explain why the lawn mower keeps backfiring!

Things have worsened July 13, 2008

I just wanted to post a brief update from earlier today.  Once we returned home things got much worse with Katya.  For her safety she must be returned to B’ham in the morning.  She is refusing to obey anything, we cannot discipline her and using any degree of force could result in her fighting back.  She is unsafe to herself and putting herself in dangerous situations that require us to physically pick her up and move her.  We contacted the guardin in charge of the children and she is returning from Flordia early so that she can stay with Katya around the clock.  She does much better with anyone other than us.  Tomorrow the boys and I will be at church.  Jerry and our translator will return to B’ham.  Both our translator and the guardian have really been fantastic.  We are blessed to have them working with us and helping us at this time.  I cannot express how grateful we are for their insight and knowledge in this situation.  Please pray for rest and protection.  Tonight I am especially thankful that my Father never sleeps.  As you pray tonight we ask that you remember us and that you especially pray for Jerry as he is will not be with us tomorrow when Petya goes to church for the first time.  Petya is trying to decide between Kevin and Jake – we are still pulling for Jake.  He is not upset that Katya is leaving.  There is just not a bond between she and anyone.  Pray for God’s hand of protection over her life.  Many people have told me, and I fully agree, I cannont make her love me, but that doesn’t stop my love for her.  We are grieving for her and the loss of more than words can express.

Jan

Recent Updates July 12, 2008

I really don’t know where to begin.  There has been a few days of silence due to some unforeseen problems.  As of last Thursday things took a turn for the worse with Katya and we had need to return to Birmingham immediately.  Katya is a deeply troubled individual and has exhibited severe signs of attachment disorder.  Unfortunately we have experienced a knife being pulled on Jerry, Jon being hit, severe defiance, and a detailed plan to hurt us and take as much from us as she could take.  She has relayed to our translator that she hates us and our family and frequently calls us horrible names in Russian and that she hates America, but wants the things we have.  Due these happenings  we decided it was best to return to B’ham to discuss the possibilities that we would have regarding her continuing to stay with us.  There is a great chance that we will gain to approval to allow her to return to Ukraine on July 18 with one of the guardians.  This guardian had already planned to return at that time at the beginning of this trip.  We just need approval from the embassy in Ukraine.  We will have confirmation on Monday, but our contact in Ukraine feels positive that she will be able to return.  Please know that she is unaware of our plans  for her return because we want her to remain calm.  Jon is aware of everything, but Petya is not.  Thursday night Jerry and I both sought the Lord’s guidance.  This has been the most difficult decision that we have ever made, but at the same time God has given us the deepest sense of peace.  Our prayers were for guidance, direction, and for the power of God to reign in this nightmare.  We asked God to please make the final decision; we knew that He was all powerful and nothing could hinder His power if He chose to work in this situation, therefore we would not give up until He took us out as being a deciding factor.  When we awoke Friday morning the guardian that is in charge of the visit met us at the breakfast table and told us that she had made her final decision and that Katya would return and that she would be allowed to attend a technical school in Zaporzhyia and that was her final decision.  We conveyed what our prayer had been the night before and she told us that it looked like our prayer had been answered.  I will not try to say that I understand all that is happening, because I feel like I am in the midst of the deepest, darkest forest with Jesus pulling my hand and telling me where to step.  This has been the darkest time of my life and we all are experiencing many different emotions right now, but ultimately there is a deep sense of peace – we amazingly know that we are headed out of the forest and that God is being our protector, and shield.  Please know that we still love this child.  Please know that we are hurting for her loss and the damage that has been done to her, please know that we have committed her to God’s hands and have full faith that we have planted a seed that God will help to grow, but that our time with her is over.  Our God and Saviour,  our God with us is in control and we seek to honor Him now by surrender.  Thank you B’ham family.  I have no words strong enough to express our love for you and for your help.  I could not imagine going through this without you.  May God bless you for all of your sacrifice, tears, prayers, guidance, understanding, compassion, laughter, willingness to be inconvenienced and your selflessness.  Church family and friends, you have been so understanding of our absence and your prayers have carried us.  We KNEW that when we could not pray you were praying for us.  Please know that as I write this I lack the words to express our thankfulness.

As for Petya & Jon – they are doing wonderfully.  God has knit their hearts as only He can.  Petya is adjusting wonderfully.  He is Jon’s big brother, always watching him, always making sure he is taken care of and frequently joking with him.  They sit together they ride together, they play together and they hug their mama together.  Jon is very, very tired.  Sleep is very hard for him to get right now because of worry.  Please pray for him.  Katya has taken out most of her aggression on him and we are taking special precaution to keep them separated.  Jon is looking forward to church tomorrow and seeing his friends.  He is handling everything with tremendous grace that only God provides.  He is loving his brother, but needs a little alone time every once in a while.

Our plans are to attend church tomorrow with Petya and Jon.  We need to be there.  We hope to see you all there and we are will be happy to introduce you to Petya.  He is trying to decide on his American name.  He likes Kevin and Jake – We are pulling for Jake and he did say that he wanted us to decide.  We love you all and hope to see you tomorrow.

Jan

Potash dee pazhalusta before you take the lawn mower! July 10, 2008

“Wait just a minute please!”  That’s what potash dee pazhalusta translates into.  Bet you thought I was cussing you or trying to sell you drugs.  We have most certainly learned that phrase.  Threebusy minds, threebusy needs, three busy kids all wanting some attention from Mama and Daddy, or De-odd-ee.  I have a special appreciation for God’s ability to love and listen to us independently as if we are the only creation that He has.  God’s ability to totally focus on us and our needs and know us so intimately has become such a miraculous thing for me to think about. 

What about the lawn mower, you ask.  Well, Jerry has been giving driving lessons and gas has been going up.  It seems that the lawn mower gets better gas mileage ans so driving lessons occurred on the lawn mower today.  I wet my pants laughing as Petya went around, and around, and around the house.  It was priceless. 

The boys are getting along and learning how to not get along and when they have gone too far.  They totally watch out for each other and when one is in need the other is there at the ready.  I treasure the moments I watch from afar and just see them together.  Their own language, gestures, funny moments.  The way they share and are still two totally different people.  There is a bond that only God can give and the pleasure they have from each other is wonderful.  They are inseparable and yet so different.  Is it always smooth, well of course not – they are boys, one 15 and the other 10.  At times Jon is too silly for Petya, at other times Petya is too rough for Jon. But they find the middle.  Today we had a wonderful dance show with russian music by Petya and american dancing by Jon.  The boys are learning how to love being together while doing different things.  They are so funny.  Today they …  flipped a plate of syrupy pancakes off the breakfast table, played hide-n-go-seek-n-tickle in the house (Petya is 5′5″ and 121 pounds Jon is 5′0″ and 121 pounds = not many good hiding places) they played video games, rode bikes, drove the lawn mower, made my bed (Petya’s idea – he’s is REALLY neat) brought the groceries in for me, popped popcorn and watched a movie and brought a huge turtle into the house. 

It has been a “normal” day in the house because of rainy weather.  The only outing involved Mama and Yana going grocery shopping for a few hours.  Everyone has remained at home. The boys by choice because it is more fun at home.  Katya ran away from us too much both Monday and yesterday for me to feel confident enough for her to go with me again without Jerry. 

Have you every watched Batman.  There is a character on Batman called Two-Face.  He has two different identities.  Basically that is what we dealt with today with Katya.  Things were different when she woke up this morning.  She would not look us in the eyes, she would not eat breakfast with us, she would say nothing to us but “Nyet.”  We found out some very important and serious information this afternoon and we ask your prayers for guidance in making the decision that God would have us to make concerning the safety of all people involved.  Your love and prayers and understanding are needed at this time.  I will share more as I feel comfortable, please be patient and lift us up in prayer as we seek to do God’s will that is not always easy. 

It is late and this mama is tired and needed some “me-time”.  Much love from us and we hope you will wrap us up in your prayers. 

Jan

It is amazing what a little waiting can do… July 9, 2008

Yeah, you are tuning in today to see what happened, aren’t you.  Did Katya ever get any clothes, did she stay in her room, did her brothers run away from home, is Bro. Jerry taking more medication.  Well, actually, PRAISE TO GOD, today went GREAT. 

Can I tell you that our two boys are pure joys.  They are just the best little things and very well behaved.  There are some things to work on, such as waiting until mama is off the phone to ask her your next 1000 questions.  It seems that when I give attention to anyone in the family, it is fine.  But to give attention to strangers or someone on the phone, well that is a little bit different story.  They seem to have more problems with that.  So we will work on that and a few other things.  But all in all behavior is good.  Petya came out this morning in his new clothes, freshly showered, freshly deodorized and so proud of everything.  He wanted to go somewhere to show himself off.  He has a new watch and we check the time about every 3.5 nanoseconds. 

Jon spent the morning playing star wars.  He said “Mama I need a little me-time.”  We have some special code words that he can use to let us know what he needs.  Please pray for him; when Katya acts badly he really takes it against us and has hard feelings toward her.  He has ALWAYS been my little protector and it is very hard for him to watch her being “ugly” toward this mama that he adores.  So a few minutes this morning were spent helping Jon with some anger and explaining why we just don’t “whooop her tail”.  Also it is getting harder to share attention.  He is torn between wanting us and knowing that his brother and sister need us.  We want him to know that just because they are here that his needs are still as important – everyone had equal needs.  So lift him up please. 

Katya began the morning on a good note.  We had deodorant lessons this morning because Papa (Jerry Michael) was stinking   After which everyone, including myself went and re-applied their deo.  Katya decided that she would not put on deo for the “400-th time”.  Again going back to the ole Beyond Consequences book – we gave her two options that she could choose from with the ultimate goal being obedience.  She could put on deodorant now or before we left, but she could not go to get her hair done with putting it on.  Exit, stage left to the “inner room”.  By the time I was ready to leave she had done as we asked.  Much praise occurred and off we went.  Her hair was beautiful, and she very politely thanked the hair stylist and we took off with shopping as a possibility. 

The boys remained at home doing “boy things” today and were visited by Nana, Kami, Kaylee & Kollin.  All went well.  Next the boys jetted off to the church because Jerry had a soccer clinic for our upcoming Upward Soccer season.  Needless to say that Petya put on the soccer cleats purchased yesterday and the boys were off.  Petya impressed Jon with his ability and really showed off to Nana, Kami, Kaylee and Kollin. 

After the hair-do was complete the girls went s-h-o-p-p-i-n-g (do you hear the jaws theme)  Well, that is what I thought I heard.  Can I just be honest and tell you my insides were in knots because I so wanted her to follow the rules and not have another scene like yesterday. 

We went to the SAME STORE.  Those people at Rue 21, may God RICHLY bless them.  They politely put a chair in the middle of a rack of clothes in anticipation of her pouting session.  She immeidately went to the skimpiest shirt in the store and pulled it out.  I immediately responded with a firm and loving “NO!”  Our eyes met, breathing got heavy, stomach got into knots, salespeople ducked behind counters, western music started playing (well maybe that last one was an exaggeration) and she said……..

 

Well, o.K. and politely picked up a proper shirt.  The hallelujah chorus begin to ring from the sky.  I started breathing again and we began picking out some clothes TOGETHER.  Oh, my word she began asking nicely for things and saying please.  I very cooly picked up a demin mini skirt, top and tights and let me tell you I was the coolest mama in the world.  Tights – they are a gift from God for the teen age girl’s mom.  Look at the benefits – they go from waist to the ankles, one size fits all, they are dark, no way to look sexy in spandax that spreads out all the curves evenly in every direction, and short skirts don’t look so short. 

Word of advice – get your daughter in the dressing room trying on everything, then you can pick out what sizes and styles you like and just overwhelm her while she is in the dressing room.  Oh, and if you think that something is too tight, well swap it when she is still changing!!  Hey, this gal wasn’t born yesterday. 

End result… 2 bags of cute, apporporiate, stylish clothing that everyone is happy with – even Jerry and it only took 2 days!

Currently Jon is hanging out in his room playing star wars, Katya is changing into every outfit and I am snapping pictures, Coach Jerry and Assistant Coach Petya are at the church teaching soccer, Yana is trying to rest – please pray for the jet lag to pass.  I am enjoying sipping my tea and reflecting on the day’s progress.  Oh, we did buy one pair of short shorts, for doma, or home, but strangely she doesn’t want to wear those – she prefers the clothes mama picked out.  My God is so very, very, very good to those that wait for three years to get their children and it is truly amazing what a little waiting can do!

Jan

And Now the News… July 8, 2008

Today’s headline news…

 

Petya wants to be a chief when he grows up and loves to cook and watch COOKING SHOWS JUST LIKE HIS MAMA!!!  He cooked some wonderful eggs this morning for breakfast.  Watch out Dinner Bell here he comes.

 

Katya had a minor meltdown as papa vetoed her shopping ideas and enacted the Williams Proper Dress Law.  It was signed into effect by Her Highness Queen Janet.  Katya then proceeded with immediate seclusion in the “inner room”. 

 

There have been great advances in Jon’s Russian language ability.  Briefly there was needed some “mama time” this morning.  It seems that Petya likes to talk to him early in the morning in Russian.  Jon is like his mama – no talking before 10 am.  They will find a balance. 

 

There was a minor accident on County Road 171 this morning as Yana was riding a bike today and took a fall.  One skinned knee and one skinned hand.  Her knee was really skinned up.  She is tough to be so pretty.  Nurse Jan cleaned up the wounds and medicated.  More band-aids will be purchased.

 

Just in…Petya is on his second shower of the day.  It seems that he does not like to sweat, but he does LOVE the cologne NaNa bought for him. 

 

As for the hostage situation, the family is about to leave for their shopping trip.  They are trying to rescue Katya from the “inner room”.  They are expected to hear many “NYETS” but are well prepared to handle such a storm.  More news at 6.

 

News at 6 – Thank the Lord for the book Beyond Consequences

 

Storms brewed today.  Katya refused to stick to the three rules we gave her about her clothes – (1)  nothing see-through  (2)  no booty shorts  (3)  no spaghetti straps.  Needless to say the first thing she picked up was see-through booty shorts with spaghetti straps.  She refused to even look at a shirt with a sleeve.  She refused to even try on shorts that were longer than 2 inches in length.  She refused to look at anything cotton.  Final results – she got NO CLOTHES.  Yes, we shopped all day with the boys getting just what they needed and she got nothing, nadda, zip!  She pouted, she refused to get out of the car, she refused to eat and meanwhile we enjoyed the day.  Basically we ignored her and kept her safe per the books directions.  Keep them safe and give them room to handle emotions and then when they feel safe they will open up.  She did purchase one purse, one pair of earrings, one ring, and 2 necklaces.  But clothing – nothing.  She also brought all the clothes I had picked out for her and said she didn’t like any of them – hey I said that is o.k. I will take them back and trade them for something I like.  She retreated to the car.  Hey that was a good safe place.  So that was fine.  All in all we are holding up pretty good.  The only real worry is that she runs away from us in stores – that must stop or no shopping until we can be safe.  Beyond Consequence’s advice did work.  Now that we are back at home she has  packed her purse and is in a better mood. 

Petya was TERRIFIC.  So sweet and so thankful.  He did great.  He even thought of Larissa and Lubla some gifts. 

 

Jon was a real trooper.  Oh and did God bless him.  When we got home waiting for him where 3 star wars orders we had place on e-bay earlier.  The boys are playing with their things and Katya is sporting her purse around. 

 

News at 10

 

A summit was held at the kitchen table after the mood changed.  As it turns out boys in Ukraine like girls with short shorts and spagehetti tops.  Papa explained that good boys in the US do not and how he wanted her to have a good boyfriend and husband.  A few tears were shed about how hard it was to be different and it was agreed that mama would try again and help but still stick to the three rules.  Now our baby girl is wrestling with her papa and laughing and smiling.  Mama ran her a bubble bath and she soaked away some cares.  Now I have received my first thank you and genuine hug. 

 

Yes, love is in the house tonight.  May our God and father, the father of ALL of us that were once orphaned be our guide into these moments of fear and surrender to a better way, a more abundant way of life.  May God bless our efforts tomorrow to show the true grace He has given us and the love He has shown us and the long suffering He gives us daily.  May you and your family receive joy from our family – our family of 5.   

 

 

 

Driving lessons?!? July 7, 2008

Well the day Jerry had prayed for never to arrive came today when Katya asked if she could learn to drive.  The sheer terror on his face was priceless.  So this afternoon we had our first driving lesson and yes, we will hide the keys tonight.  Apparently it went well because she came in all smiles.  Now Pop is with Petya (Pete as he is now liking to be called) for a driving lesson.  You think the roads weren’t safe before – just you wait!!  Today has again been a good day with ups and very few downs.  Again this morning it took several hours for Katya to come out of the “inner room” but again by the afternoon she is warm and talking with us.  For those of you that knew the situation 2 summers ago you won’t believe this but she is going through the house singing, she has even pulled a joke on us by acting like she is drinking from the milk jug!! Yes, she has a funny side and a beautiful voice.  We went shopping for some make-up today and when she was told no – she said “Oh, (whiny) but o.k.”  So things are going good.  She even sat at the table with us tonight.  She didn’t want what we were eating so she cooked her own (hey, that makes life easier) but the point is that she SAT with us and even talked to us and tried to learn the English words for what we were eating.  The boys are again having a ball together!!  They are playing, laughing, joking, burping, pooting, all things that boys do.  Today we got ready to go to town and Pop had to remind both boys about brushing teeth and wearing deodorant – it was hilarious to see them in the bathroom together singing and deodorizing.  It is fun and there are moments that are difficult.  Like when Jerry saw the make-up bill.  Wow it has been so long since we really had to depend on God for needs, but we are remembering how.  Things are happy and everyone is finding things that they enjoy doing.  Every moment that I think I am overwhelmed (which occurs often) God speaks sweetly to me and reminds me of how precious I am to Him and He just gently calms me.  Today’s moment – I was fretting over everything and thinking there was no way that I could parent all these kids properly and the verse – “her children will rise up and call her blessed” came to mind.  Oh, how precious it is to know that our children WILL see God in us.  Oh, please pray for the following things… Kayta – to continue to open up, Petya – to continue to learn English – Jon – to find time with us – Jerry – to be reminded of God’s provision in times of less than plenty – Me – peace in the midst of chaos.  The driving lesson is over, everyone is happy and Jon and I had a few moments to ourselves.  Should you see a black car streaking down the highway with a blond teenage girl behind the wheel and Bro Jerry screaming “NYET” … well best thing to do is to pull over and RUN!

Jan